Author Topic: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo  (Read 1655 times)

Offline Maverick

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Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« on: February 12, 2011, 09:35:10 PM »
             Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits.  Of course, the first month I went around our place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow.  Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down?  Tough sumbich.

              That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.  Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger.  I'll put it this way -  a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.


              Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard.  I look over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether).  The light bulb went off.  I grabbed the can and set it on the stump.  I thought it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner . . . lets face it ... . to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable.  So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles) to add to the excitement.


              At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder.  My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me.  No biggie...1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?  You know what?  Screw that.  I'm going back in the house for the other can.  Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.  Now we're cookin'.

              I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow.  I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim.  As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow.  In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH toejam!  He just got home from work.  So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.  I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the

starting fluid can right at the bottom.  Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can.  Oh.  toejam.

              When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.  I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 decibels of sound.  I caught a half a millisecond

glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see.  It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two.  The daylight turned purple.  Let me repeat this...THE  DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE!  There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.  Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off.

              So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback “ ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!!  CEASE FIRE  DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!  His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway.  All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard.  There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.


              I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment.  I don't know- I know I said something.  I couldn't hear.  I couldn't hear inside my own head.  I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter.  I don't remember much from this point on.  I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later.  I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.  I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more.  Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.

              One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.  Mom had been squeaking about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it.  I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

              Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later.  And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating.  Or both.

              I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery..  Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.  Something they won't learn in school.



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Offline Dichotomy

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2011, 10:47:58 PM »
 :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :aok
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Offline Penguin

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2011, 11:02:51 PM »
Echo Bravo Charlie, you're bringing 'em in too close!

-Penguin

PS Let me be the first to say:

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!

Offline RTR

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2011, 11:10:45 PM »
LOL Mav!

That was  great!

RTR
The Damned

Offline gyrene81

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2011, 01:53:04 PM »
ROFLMAO...geezus...that's funny stuff

 :rofl  :rofl  :rofl  :rofl  :rofl

bet ya never do that again...
jarhed  
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day...
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett

Offline SFRT - Frenchy

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2011, 04:37:09 PM »
Priceless description, which book is it from?  :rofl
Dat jugs bro.

Terror flieger since 1941.
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Offline M0nkey_Man

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2011, 04:41:50 PM »
 :rofl :rofl :aok
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Offline 1sum41

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2011, 06:16:30 PM »
 :lol :lol :lol :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Offline StokesAk

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2011, 06:51:13 PM »
Good story!  :rofl
Strokes

Offline rpm

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2011, 02:16:21 AM »
I almost needed a nitro tab after reading that! :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
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Offline TOMCAT21

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2011, 08:45:35 AM »
 :aok  :rofl :rofl.... .....ah the good old days...I guess  I am fortunate then that my kids light sabers are only plastic.
RETIRED US Army/ Flying and dying since Tour 80/"We're paratroopers, Lieutenant, we're supposed to be surrounded." - Capt. Richard Winters.  FSO 412th FNVG/MA- REGULATORS

Offline Babalonian

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2011, 01:59:25 PM »
1/2 pound of pyrodex + 2 packages of ground up estes rocket engines + younger brothers old power ranger doll = it resembled a scene out of the show, when the giant zoid robot assembles together in slow motion.... except super-fast-rewind, and with a lot more noise and smoke.
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Offline ebfd11

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Re: Saturday event. 10 year old Rambo
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2011, 03:39:11 AM »
I can remember when we were kids and my brother wanted to paint his bike. Well we found a can of spray paint and he started to paint away.... OH hold on he is getting paint on the chrome of the bicycle. HM lets see if he can use the paint in the can with a brush... proceed to kitchen with pain in hand.. lift lever on can opener puncture 7/8 can of iridescent green paint ... OH schizoid paint going all over ceiling on the drapery and on a pale oak hardwood floor.


We spent the next 4 hours cleaning the paint up..using guess what gasoline. Well we let the house air out for a couple more hours, and we would have gotten away with it...but 2 thins gave us away as to what we had done..

1. The irrefutable amorous Oder of of gas in the house.

2. The green fur on the cat my brother happen to get that was sunbathing on top of the refrigerator.

Needless to say we had alto of splaining to do and we could not sit fro the rest of the day... that's what happens when you have to go pick your own switch.


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