Yet again, the sky breaketh open and the Almighty Old God Pyro doth
emerge from the Heavens called Texas.
"Greetings yon Dweebs!" Pyro doth bellowed from above. "Doth yon Dweeb
thinketh the Gods Above Texas hath died? NAY! Yon Dweebs shall be punished
for thinking the Gods Aobve Texas hath perished! We shall only make three
new Rides for this version!"
"Ahh, yon Jug-Dweeb. Thou hath thought we forgot you? Nay! For now I shall
send the Razorback crashing from The Mighty Heavens! It shall turn better
and run faster than older Bolts of Thunder! But alas yon Jug-Dweeb, you
shall sacrifice 65 gallons of Precious AV Gas in payment for this Wonder.
I shall also have Yon God of All Things Three Dee Natedog ruin your view
by placing the dreaded Sliding Hood on thine Jug!"
"Another Russkie abberation now doth grace our Rolling Terrain(tm). It shall
be ugly, it shall be slow, it shall be known as the Sturmovik! Yon Head-On
Dweebs shall flee in terror from the Twins of Mighty BFG it doth carry!
Osti-Dweebs and Panzer Kings shall take flight as well! For the Twins of
Mighty BFG shall kill your puny Armored Thrones! A man shall cover the
posterior of yon Sturmovik with a Caliber of Fifty to prevent other
Dweebs from scratching the Heavenly Paint!"
Almighty Old God Pyro doth listen to the Rejoicing, but he hath quenched
the noise by bellowing from above...
"Yon Dweebs shall be Silenced! Doth thou think the Sturmovik shall be puny?
I spite thee! It shall be armored with Sheets of Heaven to stop all who oppose
it! None shall stand in the way of the forcomming Slaughter! Panzers And Ostys
shall burn from one end of thine Rolling Terrain(tm) to the other. We shall
see scrapyards form as thine Osty wrecks litter all Hills and Valleys!"
Now yon Dweebs quaked in their loin cloths, for Pyro hath not yet announced
his final Creation of the Air.
"Luftwobble and Warpstang Dweebs had their way in yon previous version.
For thou who hast waited, I bring thee a Ki-61! A mighty Engine of Benz
powers this Mount from the Land of Rising Sun! It shall turn better than yon
Messershit Dweeb, yet use the same engine! Verly it shall Swoop through our
Rolling Terrain(tm) killing all those oppose it. For thine Head-On Dweebs it
shall be a Nightmare from the Depths, as it hold within yon Slender Frame
two Calibers of Fifty! As other Terrors of thine Rolling Terrain(tm)
would surely kill this Nible Beast I shall bestowe two Lances of 20mm
as well!"
The masses cheered, for it looked to be good, but Pyro hath interrupted
them...
"Yon Dweebs thought this shall be it? That the Gods Above Texas doth sit lazily
drinking the Urine known as Shiner all day? Again I spite thee! For I hath
created Guns of Defense for yon Dweebs to blast the CV-Dweebs. No longer shall
I allow thine Dweeb to park a Glorious Carrier off shore to cap a field! I hath
also allowed yon Fields of Air to defend themselves better, from now on
yon Dweebs shall direct the Ack! No longer will Osti-Dweebs roam free on my
Fields of Air without punishment. I hath also repaired an Abberation of Code
for verily I doth bring thee a new armor model! No longer shall the Holy Hispano
Cannon shred thine Heavenly Sheets of Plate Mail!"
"As a last and final Wonder I doth bring thee twin LVT! One shall ferry yon
Drunks(tm) to capture Fields of Air, the other shall cover thee with a 75mm
Cannon! Yon Dweebs are not impressed with these creations?! I curse thee! Ye
shall burn in a Carcas of Osty for 2 Weeks(tm) for this Great Insult! Yon LVT
Twins shall swim in water and crawl on land! Like the Frog of Bull they shall
be anphibians, swarming yon Coastal Fields of Air to invade!"
All Dweebs let out a Mighty Cheer for this Gift from the Heavens called Texas.
"Today, on this Holiest of Days, I shall release my New Creation upon
the masses! And it shall be known as 1.07."
Doth Speaketh the Almighty Old God Pyro.
[translation]
HTC site, downloads page, top link. 'Nuff said!
-----------------------
Flakbait [Delta6]
Delta Six's Flight SchoolPut the P-61B in Aces High"During the Battle of Britain the question 'fighter or fighter-bomber?'
had been decided once and for all: The fighter can only be used as a bomb carrier
with lasting effect when sufficient air superiority has been won." Adolph Galland 
