Rude scumbag parents and there dirty little brats.

[ygsmilo]

Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
Spanking isn't necessarily the answer.

This child misbehaves because he has indulgent parents who do not define the boundaries and then absolutely refuse to compromise.

The punishment is secondary. First the parents must expect the child to behave. If they don't, the child will not.

Well said, thats the approach my wife and I have taken and it works well.

My dad had an different method, I grew up on a farm and even when I was little, the more things I did wrong, the more work I had to do,  I did a lot of work

[rpm]

Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
This parenting failure occurred long before the trip to the mall. Boundaries must be set and discipline (non-corporal IMHO) applied without compromise ever. Beating your kids isn't the magic tonic for well behaved children. It goes much deeper than that.

There is a HUGE difference between beating a child and giving a child a spanking. I personally feel she has failed to apply enough of a spanking to get the proper result.

[Sandman]

Originally posted by rpm371
There is a HUGE difference between beating a child and giving a child a spanking. I personally feel she has failed to apply enough of a spanking to get the proper result.

In other words, you can't properly raise a child without hitting them. I get it.

[Leslie]

My parents didn't spank me too often.  Maybe a couple times.  I was a second child.  My brother graduated from HS the year I was born...so he might have gotten some spankings when he was little.  By the time I came around, my folks were well established marriage wise, and by the time I was 5 or so I knew my big brother was working for NASA, and I looked up to him too.  I was well behaved 'cause I wanted both my Dad and brother to be proud of me.  If my Dad said he was disappointed in me, that was discipline enough.  This was back in the early 60s.

I remember one time I almost got a spanking, well, a couple times.  The first time was when I was about 5, I brought one of the neighbor's cats into the garage ( this was about the time I was organizing pet shows for the neighborhood kids.)  I wanted a pet so bad, I figgured I'd just sequester one of the neighbor's cats.

I was in the garage with the cat, when my dad opened the door and saw the cat about the same time the cat saw my dad.  The cat was startled.  All hell broke loose, the cat being on a shelf near a window, slipped trying to get away, and managed to wedge himself between the window and the shelf.  The cat was holding onto the shelf with his forearms, and kicking over mason jars full of nails, nuts, bolts, screws, onto the concrete floor with his legs, trying desperately to gain some purchase and make tracks.

I looked up at my dad... and he told me years later, he was gonna spank me.  But the look on my face, and the sight of that cat kicking over stuff, was so funny he busted out laughing.  We both had a good laugh.


The other time was when I was scared to go under the house with him to check on the pipes.  Was a bit older then, about 8 or so.  Dad was abit upset at first because he thought I just didn't want to help him.  This was the only time in my life I recall seeing him upset.  He later realized I was truly scared.  Don't think he woulda spanked me for that...but I knew he was disappointed.  The crawlspace was dark, and I had been watching those Scifi movies about giant spiders.   He later told me, when I was grown up, that he had no idea I was terrified to go under the house.  He did allay my fear about spiders, and after that I practically lived under there.



Thing about it is, neither of my parents ever denigrated me or put me down in any way.  Never called me stupid or such.




Les

[stiehl]

Originally posted by Mathman
This wouldn't be an issue if this were Ancient Sparta.

Maybe, but you'll be pretty sore in the morning:lol

[slimm50]

Our son is now 17, but when he was 2, 3, 4, 5 yrs old and we were in a sit-down eating establishment (can't spell resterant, retraurent...ah hell) he was nearly always well-behaved. Why? Because at the first incidence of misbehavior he and I would go outside "for a little talk". During those occasions I would sometimes spank him, or just give a sucinct (sp?) explanation of how things were going to progress from that point on. It only required several of those "little talks" to pretty much put a stop to that kind of annoying behavior. More times than not, we got looks and nods of approval from people around us when that happened. He's turned out to be a pretty good kid. Don't get me wrong, though: we're pretty tolerant of young children's behavior. They have to be able to express themselves, to a certain point. But some behavior is certainly unacceptable whether in public or in private, and it's the parents' responsibility to point it out to the kiddo bring it to a screeching halt.

[gunnss]

My solution is pushups.......

my 14 year old is the best in his school... practice works, but be warned forced exersice is officaly corpral punishment too.

Gunns

[1K0N]

Originally posted by Stoned Gecko
That's sad that people cannot tell the difference between discipline and abuse. Explains a lot about the growing generation ...

So true!! And your correct sad....

[Sandman]

Originally posted by 1K0N
So true!! And your correct sad....

It's not true at all... Spanking isn't discipline. It's punishment. The discipline begins with the parents that all too often fail to set the rules and then enforce them. That's the discipline. If a child lacks it, you can bet his/her parents do as well.

If you want to hit your kids, go right ahead but I consider it a weak and all too often emotional response. I think it displays a lack of control and sets a poor example for the children when the final solution is a violent one. Argue all you want about whether or not spanking is violence or even abuse, but the harsh truth of it is that you're inflicting pain to make your point. There are other solutions.

Don't get me wrong. You just might be an effective parent even if you do hit your kids, but I'll argue that you can be equally (if not more) effective without doing so.

[Sandman]

I have two teenage children, both here at home.

[38ruk]

i have no kids of my own, but growing up i was scared chitless of my dads rath , he only had to get nasty a few times and i learned that  even if i didnt get the disipline on the spot , it was waiting at home , and he had a damn good memory lol. i see kids that have no respect for themselves , nevermind other people. they are the sweetheart bags that cut in lines , steal parking spots, let a door slam on a person behind them , and drive by a stranded women on the side of the freeway. about parents that worry about their kids liking them or not, mine didnt care at the time , and guess what their my best friends now ... my 2 cents   38maw