Author Topic: Brain Cramps  (Read 239 times)

Offline Drifter1234

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 202
Brain Cramps
« on: March 30, 2004, 10:50:26 AM »
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss U.S.A. contest.
``````````````````````````````````

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.  I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey, singer
`````````````````````````````````````````

"Smoking kills.  If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for the Federal Anti-smoking Campaign.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky Basketball Forward.
`````````````````````````````````````````````

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
-- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
`````````````````````````````

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the President."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a *******, and I'm just the one to do it,"
-- A U.S. congressional candidate in Texas.
````````````````````````````

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Danny Ozark, manager of Philadelphia Phillies  
``````````````````````````````````

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--  former U.S. Vice President Al Gore  
```````````````````

" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
-- George W. Bush, U.S. President
``````````````````````

"I love California.  I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle
``````````

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-- former president of American Motors, Lee Iacocca
```````````

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
`````````````````````````````````````````

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football.  A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &! sports analyst.
````````````````````````````````````````````

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
`````````````````````````````````

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- former U.S.. President Bill Clinton,
``````````````````

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore
``````````

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-- Keppel Enderbery
```````````````

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we received notice that you passed away.  May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-- State Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
````````````````````````````````````````````

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.  And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, former Federal Communications Commission Chairman

Offline gofaster

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6622
Brain Cramps
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2004, 11:15:26 AM »
You forgot one of my favorites:

Quote
"Their inability to understand is also a result of their different belief system, and the influence of Satan's subtle powers on them." -- Wanda Barzee, accused kidnapper of 14-year-old Elizabeth Smart, explaining that she's not insane even though two mental health experts testified that she was.

Offline myelo

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1590
Brain Cramps
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2004, 03:31:06 PM »
Reporter:"Did you visit The Parthenon on your trip to Greece?"

Shaquille O'Neal (basketball player):"I cant really remember the names of the clubs we went to."
myelo
Bastard coated bastard, with a creamy bastard filling

Offline WilldCrd

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2565
      • http://www.wildaces.org
Brain Cramps
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2004, 03:37:18 PM »
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
Crap now I gotta redo my cool sig.....crap!!! I cant remeber how to do it all !!!!!

Offline Mickey1992

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3362
Brain Cramps
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2004, 04:09:19 PM »
While it pains me, I must debunk the Mariah Carey quote.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/carey.htm

Offline LAWCobra

  • Parolee
  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 664
      • http://www.lawsquadron.cjb.net
Brain Cramps
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2004, 05:14:53 PM »
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore
``````````````````` :rofl :rofl

Offline midnight Target

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 15114
Brain Cramps
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2004, 05:52:17 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by LAWCobra
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore
``````````````````` :rofl :rofl


Sorry bud, that was Dan Quayle.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/quayle.htm

Offline LAWCobra

  • Parolee
  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 664
      • http://www.lawsquadron.cjb.net
Brain Cramps
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2004, 06:02:43 PM »
And has anybody snoped snopes?

Offline JB73

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 8780
Brain Cramps
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2004, 06:52:29 PM »
my personal fav:
 
Quote
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We[/size] are the President."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
I don't know what to put here yet.

Offline Ripper29

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 413
Brain Cramps
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2004, 09:44:18 PM »
" Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld

Offline Sixpence

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 5265
      • http://www.onpoi.net/ah/index.php
Brain Cramps
« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2004, 10:08:35 PM »
"My grandaddy always told me, "There are three things that'll put a good man down: Losin' a good woman, eatin' bad possum, or eatin' good possum."" - Holden McGroin

(and I still say he wasn't trying to spell possum!)