Hold on, Teebone... I just had a brainstorm.
Your Dad sent you the Base Install of AH2 on a CD, didn't he? Try this:
Right click on the AH2 program icon (not the shortcut) and get Properties.
Make sure that "Read-only" is not enabled. This effectively locks the file and prevents changes (or updates). Sometimes files that are copied from CDs... which are read-only... retain the same read-only setting.
Betcha 20 bucks it works.
Hmmm... one more thought: you may be trying to update a much older version. For example, Patch 35 won't work on Version 31. Check the numbers.