Author Topic: Having A Bad Day??  (Read 343 times)

Offline Gixer

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Having A Bad Day??
« on: May 31, 2004, 02:57:57 PM »
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases

 Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burnsbut from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off  the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible,had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the  forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like
Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke
in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.


Still think you're having a bad day?

 A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.
She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a
fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the
paramedics and escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managedto right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper
towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home,
looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to
his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself
with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand,
he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with
his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin,  she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic

Crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself.
She told them.They started laughing so hard, one slipped, dropped the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.


Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.


Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire
running from his waist towards the electric kettle.

Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current,
she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking
his arm in two places.

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.


STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a
broken fence, stampeding madly.

The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

What?! STILL having a bad day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.


There now, feeling better?

Offline Maverick

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2004, 03:06:19 PM »
Gixer,

Ya might want to check snopes on these. I know at least 2 of them are hoaxes, I didn't read them all.
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Offline Sundowner

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2004, 03:08:30 PM »
Funny Gixer!

You brightened my day!

Thanks  

Sun
Freedom implies risk. Less freedom implies more risk.

Offline Gixer

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2004, 08:54:22 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Maverick
Gixer,

Ya might want to check snopes on these. I know at least 2 of them are hoaxes, I didn't read them all.



It dosn't matter it's meant as a joke. I read some of the before also but other may of not which is why I posted it.




Cheers

Offline Otto

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2004, 09:07:13 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Gixer
It dosn't matter it's meant as a joke. I read some of the before also but other may of not which is why I posted it.
 


Right..!

Offline rpm

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2004, 10:34:57 PM »
From The Darwin Awards
Quote
Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on state Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-giggin' trip.

On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck's headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. A replacement fuse was not available, but Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.

 After traveling approximately 20 miles, just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.

"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston (shot his intimate parts off) or we might have been dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how the accident happened," said Snyder.
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Stay thirsty my friends.

Offline deSelys

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2004, 09:30:00 AM »
Hey! The .22 LR used as a fuse is recalled in Dan Simmons 'Darwin's blade' (not his best book by far IMO).

Is it confirmed by the Darwin Awards or is it another urban legend?
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It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... then it's just a game to find the eye

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Offline deSelys

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2004, 09:41:11 AM »
I just checked, it's an urban legend.

However, the JATO powered Chevy Impala crash Simmons also talks about is a real Darwin Award. It's even the most popular Darwin Award of all time.

My favourite is this one:

Quote
Faulty Aim Fatal
(7 March 2002, Colorado) When Gerald was pulled over by police for erratic driving, he decided it was better to flee from the stolen car on foot, rather than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This was the first of two successive mental lapses. Gerald’s actual thoughts are unknown, but *may* have been something like this: "The officers are only suspicious and alert now... I’ll make them hot, sweaty, tired, and angry by leading them on a wild chase through dark alleys and fields."
During the subsequent foot chase, Gerald attempted to dissuade officers from the pursuit by firing a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun blindly over his shoulder. This was the second illustration of a potential mental deficiency. "Officers are running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun! They have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I’ll fire wildly behind me and see what happens!"

Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who can't chew gum and walk at the same time. Or at least he couldn’t flee and fire at the same time. While discharging the weapon over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the head with his own gun, bringing the chase to a sudden conclusion.

Four shots were fired, none by the officers, who found Gerald's pistol next to his fallen body. Gerald was transported to a local hospital where he expired the following day, thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.

Submitted by: Ernie Shumaker, Dan Rolls
Reference: Colorado Gazette Telegraph, 9news.com
Current ID: Romanov

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... then it's just a game to find the eye

'I AM DID NOTHING WRONG' - Famous last forum words by legoman


Offline Otto

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2004, 04:27:29 PM »
Urban Legends are like a Chain Reaction.  You just have to fire that first neutron.  
:aok

Offline deSelys

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Having A Bad Day??
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2004, 05:09:44 PM »
DOH! Stupid Darwin Awards website!! They kept the JATO story as 1995 Darwin Award winner but added under 'Confirmed Bogus by Darwin'...I hadn't seen it.


EDIT Oops! After claiming 'This is even the most popular Darwin Award' they explain that it is fake...That will teach me to read things COMPLETELY!
« Last Edit: June 01, 2004, 05:14:43 PM by deSelys »
Current ID: Romanov

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... then it's just a game to find the eye

'I AM DID NOTHING WRONG' - Famous last forum words by legoman