A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
The man thought for a moment and said, "Well, I can think of one thing . . . I was on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, and I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I charged the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back! off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"
". . . Oh, about five minutes ago."
