Author Topic: Getting old  (Read 307 times)

Offline Gunslinger

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Getting old
« on: June 27, 2004, 07:39:37 PM »
My dad sent me a funny email for my birthday (wich he forgot isnt until tuesday)  Thaught these were good.

Benefits of Aging:



A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has
to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
-----------------------------------------

An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"   "Don't be nervous, son;
do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me ...
your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."
-----------------------------------------
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
------------------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for
------------------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
--------------------------------------------
How old would you be
if you didn't know how old you are?
----------------------------------------------
When you are dissatisfied and would
like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
---------------------------------------------
You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
----------------------------------------------
I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.
----------------------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
----------------------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
-----------------------------------------------
Old age is when former classmates are so gray
and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
----------------------------------------------
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
--------------------------------------
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
-------------------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft..
Today, it's called golf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A WELL PLANNED LIFE????
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,
Did you manage to live a well planned life? "
" Yes," said her friend.
"My first marriage was to a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a preacher;
and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked,
"What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
and four to go."



















Bush/Cheny 2004 :aok lol

Offline XtrmeJ

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Getting old
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2004, 07:48:48 PM »
Good reads bud! :D And all so true.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2004, 07:50:49 PM by XtrmeJ »

Offline capt. apathy

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Getting old
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2004, 09:28:47 PM »
Quote
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
 


except this one. leading indicators from the last 10 years lead me to believe this one is false.

Offline Gunslinger

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Getting old
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2004, 10:06:45 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by capt. apathy
except this one. leading indicators from the last 10 years lead me to believe this one is false.


yea I didnt quite get that one.....when your bones ache when ever it rains and your body feels like its falling apart day by day.

The only thing I can conclude from that is the fact that when your young everything is new

when you are old everything is familure

Offline Capt. Pork

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Getting old
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2004, 10:42:47 PM »
How old are you gonna be Gunslinger?

Offline Nash

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Getting old
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2004, 12:03:02 AM »
"when you are old everything is familure"

This is kinda my theory on why time seems to go faster as you age. Your time is less and less punctuated by new experiences.

It doesn't have to be that way... it's a choice you make. Keep living, learning and experiencing new things... and don't give in. Don't wind up saying things like "music sucks nowadays" or "back when I was 20 we didn't..." etc.

When you do, you really start dying. Bust out of your routine. Question your assumptions daily. Do new and different things weekly. When the days/months/years start getting longer again, you'll know you're on the right track.

Hi.

I am Jack Handy, and this was a ghey post.

Offline capt. apathy

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Getting old
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2004, 12:04:22 AM »
I hurt a lot more than when I was younger (takes about 10x longer to heal too).  but I still celebrate the birthdays.  I don't really understand people who dread their own birthday.  it's a well know fact that people who have more birthdays, live much longer.

Offline capt. apathy

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Getting old
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2004, 12:09:05 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Nash
This is kinda my theory on why time seems to go faster as you age. Your time is less and less punctuated by new experiences.

 


I always figured it was more about percentages than actual years.  when you are 8 years old a month is a bit more than 1% of your total existence.  at 40 a month is closer to .25% of your life.  no wonder a month seems to go by 4 times faster.

you're right about needing to change things up now and then.  I've heard it said that a rut is just a grave with the ends kicked out.

Offline Nash

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Getting old
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2004, 12:12:24 AM »
Yeah apathy... In fact I think I remember reading a thread on people's theories on it over in AGW. I thought the % theory seemed like the most reasonable.

But uh... just based on a few experiences and some changes over a relatively short period of time, it turns out that's not it at all.

Great quote about the rut/grave btw.

Offline Sandman

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Re: Getting old
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2004, 12:20:23 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Gunslinger
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for


Bingo. I'm far less patient with putting up with **** now than I was twenty years ago. Something about turning 40 and the realization that my days are numbered and I'm probably half way to the end.
sand

Offline Nash

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Getting old
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2004, 12:24:36 AM »
How many times have we seen this?

You see a guy standing in line. He's almost to the front, but gets pissed off because all of a sudden the guy ahead of him and the cashier start to get chatty.

You can see his face turn red. Then he bolts out of there. Two seconds later the line moves forward, but he's now out the door, spending another fifteen minutes driving around to find another place to go stand in line for the thing he needed all along.

Offline rpm

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Getting old
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2004, 04:05:53 AM »
You know you are old when you are driving down the street and can say "I remember when there was nothing out here".
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Stay thirsty my friends.

Offline lazs2

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Getting old
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2004, 08:19:11 AM »
nash... there are periods in history where most of a generation of art or music or politics or any of a number of things have..... sucked.

To not notice it is a failure of perception and is often a failing of youth who tend to want to fit in.

lazs