What's the most evil thing you've done to another human being?

[JBA]

Well it starts like this. This just happened in March:

I got up early and left the house quickly, so I'm heading out to look at houses for sale.
I grab a cup of coffee and I'm driving. I look at a few and I'm starting to feel the coffee take effect.
I pull up to a house and I don't see anyone there. I decide to leave and then the urge hits me strong. Right there my butt checks clinch up tighter then a mummy’s tome.
I go back to the door, this time I notice it's open a bit. So I knock, once, twice, three times no answer. I push the door open a bit and call out "ANY ONE HERE" again no answer. I notice a business card on the table, real estate office of some kind. I figure hell I’m going in.
I run to the toilet and drop my pants and barely get sited and BOOM it comes out like a GD mud slid; it hits the side of the bowl. One of these low fluid bowls, a little water on the bottom. I get up and wipe, look down and see this mud slide on the side of the bowl, I say screw it I gone. I left that place with the stink of a dead animal and bowl full. As I pull out of the driveway I notice a sign, OPEN HOUSE 1:00 PM. I look at my watch its 12:15.
I wish I saw the look on the agents face when they found that mess waiting for them.
They must have thought the owners left it.

[Masherbrum]

Originally posted by JBA
Well it starts like this. This just happened in March:

I got up early and left the house quickly, so I'm heading out to look at houses for sale.
I grab a cup of coffee and I'm driving. I look at a few and I'm starting to feel the coffee take effect.
I pull up to a house and I don't see anyone there. I decide to leave and then the urge hits me strong. Right there my butt checks clinch up tighter then a mummy’s tome.
I go back to the door, this time I notice it's open a bit. So I knock, once, twice, three times no answer. I push the door open a bit and call out "ANY ONE HERE" again no answer. I notice a business card on the table, real estate office of some kind. I figure hell I’m going in.
I run to the toilet and drop my pants and barely get sited and BOOM it comes out like a GD mud slid; it hits the side of the bowl. One of these low fluid bowls, a little water on the bottom. I get up and wipe, look down and see this mud slide on the side of the bowl, I say screw it I gone. I left that place with the stink of a dead animal and bowl full. As I pull out of the driveway I notice a sign, OPEN HOUSE 1:00 PM. I look at my watch its 12:15.
I wish I saw the look on the agents face when they found that mess waiting for them.
They must have thought the owners left it.

Nothing more refreshing than a good, ol' fashioned "Shotgun Chit".

Karaya

[midnight Target]

Spotted a guy growing pot on his back porch once... 20 years or more ago. We decided a "commando raid" was needed. Actually dressed in black, and did the sneak thing. I still feel bad about that.


It was pretty good stuff too.

[Capt. Pork]

The upper deck.

Never did it do anyone though.

[ravells]

I had 3 chinese mates when I was a kid in Kuala Lumpur. They lived near a 'kampung' which is a primitive villiage.  One of my mates got chased by this guy with an axe once (we were throwing stones at the villiage kids and they were responding in kind and we hit this guy chopping wood by accident).

Anyway, we found out where he lived and once a year, a few days after Chinese New Year we would plant fireworks around his shack, pointing at his front door and windows and use mosquito coil as a timed fuse. We would then go home and watch the fun from the top of my friends' house.

One year he caught us red handed as we were planting the fireworks. I've never run so fast in my life.

Ravs.

[VOR]

While overseas last summer one of the "slower" guys was complaining about mail from the states taking so long to get to us. To cheer him up, I convinced him it was actually two months earlier in the US due to the international date line, so plenty of mail was assuredly on the way to him. He looked at me sideways for a few minutes but my poker face, being the stuff of local legend, held up and he was convinced. Found out later the guy's mom drank alot when she was preggers with him.

[Nwbie]

Married her
But she got even
She cleaned me out in the divorce

NwBie

[SirLoin]

Once when I was fishing at a dam,I was waiting to squeeze into a good casting spot but some chinese guy and his son(my age..16) wouldn't let me near the edge cause they were catchin all the fish...When I noticed that they were way over the limit of two per person(they have about 15 trouts in their bucket) I told them to let someone else have a turn as they were hoggin all the fish(and breaking the law)..

He said something nasty to me and I returned the insult...Then after I snagged his fishing line trying to cast,he whipped his rod back and snagged my shirt with his treble hook("Two can play at that game!!")..he said.

Well,after I removed his lure from my sleeve...I walked over,grabbed his bucket of fish and threw it in the water...He lost it,grabbed me into a headlock and painfully pinned me down on the gravel...I started crying and he let me go.

I grabbed my stuff and left looking for the Park Ranger when my buddy noticed the extrahunk's car parked with the top down(I beleive it was a Caddilac convertible)...We made a trip to the snack bar and stole 4 squeeze bottles of ketchup and mustard and emptied them on the seats,dash,radio etc and let the baking hot sun finish the job.

[Sikboy]

I mentioned this before in a revenge thread, but I used to jerk off in my room mates hair conditioner.

God I hated that guy.

-Sik

[VOR]

Originally posted by Sikboy
I mentioned this before in a revenge thread, but I used to jerk off in my room mates hair conditioner.

God I hated that guy.

-Sik

[Lance]

Set up a rendevouz at a hotel with a real good looking cheerleader I screwed around with in high school.  This was several years later.  She called me out of the blue saying she was in a nearby town visiting relatives, basically let it be known she wanted a sperm donor, and asked me if I wanted to drive over and pick her up.  I said sure, drove over, checked into a motel 6, and went to pick her up.  

Then the other shoe dropped.  Turns out the hard bodied hottie had spent most of her post-high school years eating pork rinds and ice cream.  She had put on at least 75 pounds.  I wound up taking her back to the motel room, hoping for some sort of inspiration as to how I could get myself out of porking this beanbag.  I wound up telling her that I needed some ice water, grabbed the ice bucket, and ran for the door.  I never looked back.  I have no idea how long she stayed in that hotel room or how she got home.

[midnight Target]

There was a guy in the dorms we really hated.

One night we all urinated into a bucket, then a friend added some... solids. Later that night we leaned the bucket carefully against the guy's door and slid a firecracker on a cigarette fuse under the door.

We all ran to our respective rooms and waited. The cussing was excellent and it was interspersed with puking. All around a really crappy thing to do to a fellow human.

[JB73]

in college a dude got drunk and passed out in the dorm we were staying at.

up on the upper bunk we took turns dropping little globs of spit onto his face to watch him swat at them.






that was after the entire can of shaving cream down his pants and inside his shirt, and after the raw hot dog shoved down the back of his pants.

[JB73]

Originally posted by Nash
Spill it Saur!

and Funked... I laffed when I read yours. No idea what a Bronco is, and I was about to ask, but I didn't want to wreck the poetic simplicity of it by actually finding out. Okay what is the Bronco?

check out this site:

http://www.rotten.com/library/***/rolodex-of-love/


replace *** with the normal word for intercourse

[AKIron]

The ole fart in bed and pull the covers over the wife's head. Poor thing, she lost her sense of smell after that.