When reading women's personal ads, it's a good idea to understand the hidden meanings...
40ish- : 49 years old
Adventurous : slept with your friends
Athletic : no tits
Average looking : Has a face like an ass
Beautiful : Pathological liar
Contagious Smile : Does a lot of pills
Educated : Was the campus potato
Emotionally Secure : On medication
Feminist : Fat
Free spirit : Junkie
Friendship first : Former slut
Fun : Annoying
Gentle : Dull
Good Listener : Autistic
New-Age : Body hair problems
Open-minded : Desperate
Outgoing : Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate : Sloppy drunk
Poet : Depressive
Professional : B***h
Romantic : Frigid
Social : Fanny like a clowns pocket
Voluptuous : Very Fat
Large lady : Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate : Stalker
Widow : Murderer