Originally posted by FUNKED1
PU NEWS PRESS---------------------
Democratic Candidate John Kerry, photographed here reenacting the famous catch he made of the "ultimate weapon" bomb which could have destroyed the Earth, held a news conference to settle the claims he never went to Cambodia on secret missions while serving four months in Vietnam. "I never said I was IN Cambodia, just merely flew OVER the country" he said "It was when I was selected by General Snippet to accompany him on a tippety-top secret mission to the Duchy of Grand Fenwick to retrieve the WMD that was stolen from our research lab in NYC." Kerry further explained that when he caught the football-shaped device with total disregard to his personal safety it bounced up and bruised his chin, but since the mission officially never took place he was not awarded the purple heart for the fourth time. He also lamented over the fact that the camera which recorded the historic moment was confiscated by one Mr Tully Barscombe, head of the Grand Fenwick Armed Forces.
The conference ended on a positive note as there was a joined sigh of relief by voters and the attending press on the ending of the speculation that Mr Kerry may have actually been lying about the Cambodia missions and it was all just a gross misunderstanding on our part. Mr Kerry, whilst boarding his wife's SUV turned and made one last comment... "I am not Bush!" The crowd went wild.
--------------------------
