Author Topic: Saw (Read 607 times)

SOB · « **Reply #15 on:** September 10, 2004, 04:53:02 AM »

What's a good expression for "splat"?

SaburoS · « **Reply #16 on:** September 10, 2004, 04:53:59 AM »

We don't want Saw's last words to be:
"Oh, Oh!" Splat!

deSelys · « **Reply #17 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:00:41 AM »

This reminds me the usual jokes/pranks that some TM do to their passengers/students:

TM: if at some point we get separated, let's meet at the packing hangar...

P/S: do you have a lot of experience?
TM: Oh yeah, I have done a lot of tandem jumps...And I'm particularly excited about this one, because if everything goes fine I'll finally be authorized to jump alone on my own...

TM, to the P/S: Hi', I'm your passenger. They told me that I would be jumping with you.

TM, during the briefing: Hello, I'm and I'll be your instructor. I have to say that this is the most exciting interim job that i've done so far (then he picks up a harness and look at it puzzled...).

And, or so i've heard, in the plane of a particular DZ in the States, they had left a small booklet (made of a few stapled sheets of paper covered with a few instructions like 'DON'T DIE!', 'AT SOME MOMENT, PULL SOMETHING'... written big enough so the P/S could read them too) that every TM was studying during the plane ride. Some were even exclaiming 'Are we really supposed to do THAT?!)...

Holden McGroin · « **Reply #18 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:08:51 AM »

Boogie till you bounce...

Billy was talked into trying skydiving by his buddy Frank.

"We'll climb to 15,000 ft, and jump out. After a minute or so in freefall, you'll set free of your pilot chute, the main will deploy, and.." says Frank.

What happens if the main doesn't deploy?" asks Billy

Frank replies,"No sweat, you can then use your emergency chute, and when it deploys, you will slowly decend to the feild where the jump school will drive out in a Jeep and get you, and we will go back to the hanger and have a beer."

So they climb into the plane and only get to 14,000 ft, and Frank says it's high enough, and Billy jumps. The ground seems to be coming up pretty fast, so he lets his pilot chute go, but the main doesn't open. He pulls on the handle for the emergency chute, and it fails also.

Billy mutters, "Friggin Jeep probably won't be there either."

SaburoS · « **Reply #19 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:13:24 AM »

LOL!!!

Chortle · « **Reply #20 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:29:33 AM »

lol

The Scottish comedian Billy Connolly used to be a paratrooper, he said they used to take along a hanky or piece of cloth to stick in the newbies pack when he wasn't looking. Then when the green light went and they're all heading for the door, the guy behind him would tap on his shoulder and point to what seemed like a badly packed chute.

I cant remember what used to happen next but I think it involved lots of freaking out and shouting.

Nilsen · « **Reply #21 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:58:29 AM »

gl saw... you are gonna need it

Make sure you have some fresh clothes with you so you don't have to go around with a wet spot on you pants after you land and walk out of the plane.

Kirin · « **Reply #22 on:** September 10, 2004, 06:25:52 AM »

Saws last words will be:
"Oh, oh" Le Splat! - he's French after all!

Saintaw · « **Reply #23 on:** September 10, 2004, 06:27:33 AM »

TOB, I uploaded all my french p0rn collection on the Picture hangar, you will have to ask Tbolt the keys, he's in charge as of today.

I am having a T-Shirt done for this evening: Skydiving tomorrow... this is your last chance to have sex with me! I just hope the bouncer will not notice it...

OMG... what did I sign up for????

lasersailor184 · « **Reply #24 on:** September 10, 2004, 07:19:01 AM »

This is some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. I would die if the instructor did that to me...

TBolt A-10 · « **Reply #25 on:** September 10, 2004, 10:46:41 AM »

After he jumps out of that plane, Saw will begin to know fear for what it really is -- a limitation that can be conquered. He'll be a completely new man.

Let's just hope the new Saw lives more than 26.5 seconds.

Saintaw · « **Reply #26 on:** September 10, 2004, 11:09:19 AM »

It's actually 60 seconds freefall.

TB, you have the keys, I hope this time you remember all the passwords

I'm out for a splendid evening of drinking and (something I can't type in case my GF sees this)... cya tomorrow, or cya all in hell!

TBolt A-10 · « **Reply #27 on:** September 10, 2004, 11:11:28 AM »

Bring back a video!

Saintaw · « **Reply #28 on:** September 10, 2004, 11:14:00 AM »

I will, if I don't sh*t my pants.... if I do that, I will pay to see the destruction of the camera (and the tape)

<-- off!

slimm50 · « **Reply #29 on:** September 10, 2004, 11:16:05 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by deSelys
Aaaargh I just checked, you had said sunday 12th september! Damn french!

I can't be there then... I promised to be good and do some work at home so I could leave early on sunday...

What to expect: mostly fear during the 20 minutes it takes to the plane to reach 4000m (everybody feels the fear, after 25 jumps I still have a bit of it when the red light goes on and the door opens) then sensory overload when you exit the plane.
Thanks to the adrenalin you won't feel the cold (it's around -10°C up there) so no need to wear more than a T-shirt and a pair of pants under the jumpsuit. A light fleece if you're always cold.
You won't have a real sensation of falling because you exit the plane with a horizontal speed around 160 Km/h (lot of relative wind already). When you reach the terminal velocity (~200 Km/h), you'll have the feeling to float as you don't accelerate anymore and are carried by a cushion of dense air...
The first time I jumped I held my breath until 2000 m such liquid-like is the feeling.

Listen to your TM during the short briefing and do what he or she says/points you to do (it's impossible to talk during free fall). You should naturally relax as soon as your stabilized after 5-10 secs of free fall...take your time to look around

Then enjoy the canopy ride. The TM should let you play a bit with the toggles for a moment. Oh yeah, again thanks to the adrenalin this is the moment when you'll feel the pressure in your inner ears. Just swallow a couple of time without breathing like you do in a plane and they will equalize.

Last couple of advices: on final, when the TM says to lift your legs up, DO IT! Don't try to brake the fall qith your feet or land yourself first. Some people injured themselves while doing this. Trust your TM and let him/her slide the both of you smoothly on the grass.
Wear sport shoes (running shoes are best for this) without hooks. There is a very little chance that a hook could snag a line during canopy deployment, but if it occurs the scenario would then be ugly...

Enjoy and keep us posted.

Bonne Merde!

LOL, is that all. Piece o' cake!:rolleyes: I'd be skeered sh*#less. When I was very young I dreamed of parachuting because my dad did it in the army, and I wanted to be like him. Right? Well, one day when I was old enough, and out on my own, and long after I'd forgotten about this idea, the subject of sky-diving came up in conversation. A friend said "hey, why don't you talk to so-and-so? I bet he'll take you up and show you what it's all about." Well, let me tell you, when the possibility that my dream could very soon become reality, I knew, in the very core of my being, that I did not want to do this thing. I gave up the dream of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, and I haven't looked back since.