Alaska has been creating new flavors in baked goods, walrus and blubber pies. Reports show that the company is owned by conspiracy believing hippies that bake the pies in hopes that ailens will visit Earth for the rare baked treats. These are made in genuine ovens made out of Saddam and his sons' treasures that were melted down to create the rare and exotic ovens needed to help bring the ailens to this planet. The fire needed to bake the pies are from genuine redwood trees cut down by tree hugging hippies enslaved by mind control devices that were created by the government and special agents from Area 51. Also to furnish employment for the factory are illegal immigrants and crazies from a local Alaskian insane asylum working in hopes to receive a very special yellow card (for the short bus).
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