Chairboy, I don't really know you at all, but I've been following this thread and wishing for the best...
Sometimes things just don't work out as we'd like... But I'm sure someday it'll all make sense... And I'm sure that you WILL meet again... When it's time.
Just remember that no one is EVER gone until they're forgotten... And if worst comes to worst (and I hope it doesn't but if it does), at the very least perhaps the thought of your own death will be less frightful, as you will have a friend waiting to meet you.
I'm still rooting for him though!
SALUT!