Stupidity awards

[Spatula]

Hey lets have a stupidity award. Where everyone nominates something really DUMB - we've all done it (be honest).
OK
1st Nomination: Me - for the brave fight with a fully armed 205 and me in a 'recon' la-5. The recon model was reserved for idiots - who either they, or they're crew forgot to put any amourment on their plane before they crossed the NME lines.
Yes yours truls somehow ended up in a tangle with a bish 205 and once i started to turn the tables i got my oportunity to fire from D500 or so - as he zoomed away. Pressed the trigger thinkin "got ya" and nothing, i tried agian, again nothing   I looked at the ammo counter and it read 0 - and i had only rolled 4 mins before that. Im not sure why i had no armament - it just happened, very weird...
Anyho, to make matters even more silly i then disco'd when i got on his 6 and was chasin him - i know i couldnt kill him, but i thought i'd have fun  

So I nominate me for the award  

This 'award' can be a lesson for pilots to be motivated to get better at all things like gunnery, ACM, SA, and whether you have any bl**dy guns on kite

Grumble grumble grumble....

OUT

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Overlord Spatula,
1st Airborne Kitchen Utensil Assault Group

"... 10 Me-109s out of the sun..." Aces High, Iron Maiden.

[dolomite]

I nominate the C47 driver from Hangtime's post in General Discussion... landed at the enemy base and sat until he was destroyed.

"What troops?"

[bloom25]

Ok, here's one that I'm sure most of us have done.  I was flying over 14 about two weeks ago (.48) and spotted a lone spitfire about 10k below me.  I gently pushed my 205 into a dive and dove right below the unsuspecting spit.  As I pulled up onto his low 6, at around 500 mph, he still made no movements.  He was still perfectly straight and level.  So I decided to close even closer than the 500 yds I was currently at.  At about 250 yds out, I pulled back on the stick (gently), and BAM, off came my right wing tip.   My plane immediately rolled right, but now I was right alongside the spit.  Just then I hear the sound of my plane overstressing, followed by pings and crashes.  If they award kills for scaring a bogey, I earned one that day.  There can't be anything more frustrating than breaking your wings/tail off right in front of what was to be an "easy" kill.  

Since then I always make sure I never exceed 450 mph in a dive, no matter the plane.  (Of course if we get that p47-N, I can go up to around 600 with no problem.   )

bloom25
THUNDERBIRDS

[-Catman-]

"... 10 Me-109s out of the sun..." Aces High, Iron Maiden

Glad to see I'm not the only one here who is old enough to remember that song.

I just listened to that cd a few days ago.

FYI Bruce and the boys have a new cd out now!

Catman

[bloom25]

Wait, wait, my tales of stupidity have not yet ended.  Has anyone managed to take a c47 all the way to a heavily defended/capped target 20 minutes away, and upon arriving over the base, noticed they forgot to bring troops.   I did, once.  

My other favorite, forgetting to bring bombs on a hq raid.  (This isn't so bad if you are alone, but if you are flying with your entire squad, what do you say to them? )

bloom25
THUNDERBIRDS

[Westy]

"but if you are flying with your entire squad, what do you say to them?"

Nothing.
Just make sure you are not the last in nor the first.

 Then when you're all forming up for egress you should hoot & holler over your squad channel (and before anyone else does!) about what carnage your bombs/rockets made of the hangar/fuel/enemy taking off/ack etc, etc....

 

[eazydweeb]

Ha! you loose...

before FW 190 and 109 variants (maybe v3.5 or sth) I was flying my knight g10 over rookland with ammo counter somewhere in the middle (read LOW in 109   ) when I saw a c47 co alt (10k). I thought "bingo!" and went around and above him for what I thougt to be my 3rd and easiest kill in an online game...I boomed in and managed to actually MISS him    OK! zoom up, turn around,try again...this guy was obviously in the basement to get another beer or so, the C47 was still straight and level...second boom, concentrate now! ssllloowww down a bit to increase firing time, the Messerschmitt begins to bounce and wobble like crazy no matter what, squeeze the trigger and hose away at 500-400 or so...ammo is zero now, c47 still flying straight me overshooting and zooming away...hopefully nobody did see it :0   5 seconds later on country channel ":...eazydweeb, how the hell did you manage to miss that c47 ??"     OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!
I was so embarrassed, I didn't even look who was the spectator of the awful scene and backed away...

..and there is a thread on this board where people complain about long distance shooting being too easy...JIKES !!


sadly I didn't have the time to fly for the last 2 weeks and I don't know about the future, so you may loose a big time competitor for the future stupidity awards  

Hope to see you

eazydweeb aka Peter the German who can't shoot  

[Saintaw]

Could you consider these points :

a-Bailing out right above a con airfiels where the ack is active  

b-Jabo'ing an airfield's ack with FUEL TANKS instead of Bombs  

c-Zooming in on a Spit from top, from High alt with a Hog, while spit is flying at +/- 50 ft...

I think I have my chances...these are only examples, and I think I cooould fill the alphabet  

 

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Saw/Saintaw/Saint
BISHOPS

DCO 186th Wardogs (Falcon4 Squad)
 http://www.wardogs.org/
"Firepower Mate, that is what separates the men from the boys..."

[humble]

Sadly, I believe i'm the unfortunate owner of the single dumbest mistake possible in AH....

Back about 4.0 (release before clouds I think) I was blissfully cruising along at 25k or so (109) and spotted a pony about 7k below to my left. I backed of the throttle and set for a 45 degree deflection shot from his top right rear. Closer and closer waiting to unleash that 30mm...unfortunately i had about 500 yds to much alt...total control lockup...clip my tail off on his plane and go spiraling down..killed by a plane that never saw me, never fired a shot and didnt know what him..literally  

[bloom25]

I have performed yet another (albeit frustrating) act of stupidity.  I was flying a c47 to 20, not a con in sight, turned on the autopilot to go get a drink and wham, witnessed my c47 slam right into the side of a mountain. Doh!!!


[This message has been edited by bloom25 (edited 02-06-2000).]

[snafu]

I could start with the letter "A" and give you an act of stupidity all the way to "Z", but notable brain failures include 4 perfect passes on a capped field in a C47 complaining that "The troop's won't jump" "Have you opened the door" came the reply. Opening fire on a NIKKI in a C47 & Dumping all my Troops, Oh and this week (Again in a C47) I flew into a mountain, (Didn't see it honest).

TTFN

[Pongo]

I was running away from camo about 2 weeks ago near field 8 and saw a friedly in front of me, being desperate and out of ammo, I headed right towards my countyman hoping to brush Camo off before he finished me.
I learned that there is not much a fellow pilot can do to help you when he is standing on the ground bundeling up his silk.
Other rooks more intellectual then myself managed to save me with only the loss of my engine. I was muttering quite a bit as I ditched my niki..

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Pongo
The Wrecking Crew

[Hangtime]

Ever go buff a field's acks and then come down to stafe the buildings and such.. and *THUD* ..auger? ??

Then replane in a c47 to capture yer freshly buffed field only to plant it into the hill at the end of the runway while yer typin to yer pals 'acks down f7'?? Hmmmmmmmm?? Then find out that someother nutcase gooney drivers c47's 'almost there'. so you replane in a fighter to go to..

"VULCHLAND"  <<< (big flashing vegas type sign)

....happily diving down to whack the poor sods tryin ta save their precious field from your teams tender attentions.. and then auger in on the first pass 2 tenths of a second after the wings went..

*BANG*BANG*   ???  Have yah done this??

Ever go BACK to vulchland after that to 'get me some more'; wepped out on the deck at 400 ias.. and auger on the first pass? Been there?? Done that??

Well; didja ever come back again a third time only to collide with the first guy yah try to stake to the runway???

Then; get sooooo pissed.. and go a fourth time; set up a 'by the numbers' vulch-o-matic pattern with the firm resolve to not be an over-eager cuddlinghunk again... only to be the first guy tagged by the acks when it comes up? Any of this sound familiar?

Folks; this wasn't enuff for me.... ooooh no no no!; another buff shows up; kills the ack and the vulchfest is still in full swing. So I replane again; come back at 10k, start a long smooth dive at 15 degrees down bubble about 1/2 way back... and blow both ailerons out as I go thru 620 knots 1000 yards away from the field.

"THATS IT!" I holler; (hang rubs the still visible dent in the table top) I manage to not shred the wings.. (see?? I thought of that with that clever shallow dive angle) ..pull up over the field; get level and gingely start 'feeling' my way thru flying with my feet, regained some measure of control and was privledged to watch, ruddering around in slow circles, while my teammates merrily whacked the lemmings as they spawned below. *sigh*

Finally; afer helplessly eyballing the slaughter fer a bit I finally woke up to the fact that sooner or later somebodys gonna show up here and kill me.. and rudder the damn thing back home.

I prayed feverently on the way back "I hope they ain't vulchin our field.." I made it.. the gods are kind to us stupid people .. sometimes.

My granpa used ta say "The cure for ignorance is education. The cure for stupidity is death" My grandpa's crack at wisdom. (he educated me on the art of swimming by tossing me in the deep end)

A funny thing.. the old geezer died of lung cancer. I'm told by my exwife that stupidity obviously runs in the family. (I smoke a pack a day) She points to my daughter as another prime example, and reminds me that "I'm not stupid.. and look at HER!" I reminded my sweet kind wife that she obviously wasn't too bright either.. she married me. Frankly, I'm not sure if my condition is genetic or gender related; but don't want to give her anymore ammo anyway. (sorry I digress)

Back on topic here, its certainly clear that I am without any doubt the stupidest; deadest and dumbest damn pilot in the sim; and offer the above as evidence. Surely; I must get the award.

Hang (hey; I'm ok.. just takin a dirt nap..)

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PALE HORSES
"I looked, and behold; a Pale Horse, and it's riders name was Death, and Hell followed with him" Rev 6.8

[humble]

you certainly get most persistant...However...this award is for STUPIDITY...not being stubbern (damm finally gave up trying to spell it).

however volume does count  

[Spatula]

I Second humbles clipping his tail section off in a high speed pass - the other guy got the kill and didnt know why   LOL

I also 2nd saintaws high speed dive at a plane flying at 50 feet - wtg  

Any other nominations? Can be something you saw as opposed to what you did.




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Overlord Spatula,
1st Airborne Kitchen Utensil Assault Group

"... 10 Me-109s out of the sun..." Aces High, Iron Maiden.