Author Topic: Pope Joke  (Read 389 times)

Offline Chortle

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Pope Joke
« on: March 26, 2005, 07:25:10 AM »
After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
 
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone  to work that morning.
 
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pope floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

" Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.
 
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
 
Cop: "Bigger."
 
Chief: "Governor?"
 
Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
 
Cop: "I think it's God!"
 
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the freakin' Pope as a chauffeur!!"

Offline Holden McGroin

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Pope Joke
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2005, 07:52:39 AM »
One day, mom was cleaning her son's room and found a very graphic bondage and discipline magazine in the closet. This was highly upsetting for her.
 
When her husband got home, she showed it to him.

He looked at the magazine and handed it back to her without saying a word.

She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"

He looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think we should spank him."
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Offline hawker238

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Pope Joke
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2005, 08:47:17 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Holden McGroin


He looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think we should spank him."


LMAO! :lol

Offline RTR

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Pope Joke
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2005, 09:13:13 AM »
The Pope hasn't been well for a while now.

With that being said, you know when you see him waving out the window with a few people standing right behind him?

Anybody remember the movie "Weekend at Bernies"?

Just wondering

RTR
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Offline TweetyBird

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Pope Joke
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2005, 12:21:51 PM »
>>bondage and discipline <<

So there is a politicaly correct term for S&M now?

Offline Sandman

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Pope Joke
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2005, 12:25:32 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by TweetyBird
>>bondage and discipline <<

So there is a politicaly correct term for S&M now?


No... there's B&D and S&M... oh and D&S.

They're not all the same thing, I guess.

http://www.radix.net/~dglenn/defs/bdsm.html
sand

Offline TweetyBird

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Pope Joke
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2005, 12:28:22 PM »
Ahhh - think I'll stick to m&m's..

Offline Sandman

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Pope Joke
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2005, 12:30:24 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by TweetyBird
Ahhh - think I'll stick to m&m's..


Me too. :aok
sand

Offline bunch

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Pope Joke
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2005, 12:07:21 AM »
you two are the sickest yet

Offline Holden McGroin

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Pope Joke
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2005, 12:43:18 AM »
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.
 
Taken aback, the loan officer requested collateral, so the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce."

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave the man $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "While you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?
Holden McGroin LLC makes every effort to provide accurate and complete information. Since humor, irony, and keen insight may be foreign to some readers, no warranty, expressed or implied is offered. Re-writing this disclaimer cost me big bucks at the lawyer’s office!

Offline Maverick

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Pope Joke
« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2005, 01:55:58 PM »
Holden, Nice one there :rofl
DEFINITION OF A VETERAN
A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a check made payable to "The United States of America", for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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