Author Topic: Official Flame Thread  (Read 3439 times)

Offline slimm50

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #30 on: April 13, 2005, 02:02:20 PM »
Reading this thread is my second-most favorite thing to do; the first being to wrap my lips around the tailpipe of a metro bus and be dragged naked through the city streets.

Offline Plankton

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Flame for Sale (though I stole it)
« Reply #31 on: April 13, 2005, 02:06:35 PM »
Possibly the best flame of all time (not directed at anyone in particular):

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker.  A sore that won't go away.  I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are equivalent to the seeping pus from the afterbirth of an aboriginal gang bang, left lying in the sun for three days. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth in to this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?   You snail-skulled, little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.  You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable.

You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you.  You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with me and the others on this list?  What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.  On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.

You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.  You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock.  You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce.  You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting na f. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.  You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I
feel debased just for knowing you exist.

I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.  I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid.  You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid.  Stupid collapsed on itself, so far, that even the neutrons have collapsed.  Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid.  Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.

This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of your drivel.  Duh.  The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I delete all of your posts because, well... they never really say anything. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.  True, these are rudimentary skills that  us "normal" people take for granted and have an easy time mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world such as yourself.  Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

Respects
« Last Edit: April 13, 2005, 02:24:27 PM by Plankton »

Offline BlueJ1

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #32 on: April 13, 2005, 02:09:24 PM »
Anyone actually read what Plankton wrote. I sure didnt.
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OEF 08-09'

Offline mechanic

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #33 on: April 13, 2005, 02:10:33 PM »
............................. ...............

I did :)

speachless.


you are now the grand master. i am demoted to mere student.


grade A***** with honours and gold leaf.


slimm, 88, your grades must be done by plankton now he is the master.


heya blue, come back bro, squad misses you.
And I don't know much, but I do know this. With a golden heart comes a rebel fist.

Offline slimm50

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #34 on: April 13, 2005, 02:12:08 PM »
nope. too long, and not original with the poser....er, I mean poster.

Offline Knite

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #35 on: April 13, 2005, 02:19:00 PM »
Plankton is a sad sack of unoriginal excrement for reguritating a fine, fine piece of flame.
And Batfink... just the horror I feel for giving accolates to that plagaristic abomination saddens me to my depths, makes my bowels groan with dissapointment, and, I'm sure of this, makes baby Jesus cry.

You two should be ashamed of yourselves.
Knite

39th FS "Cobra In The Clouds"

I'm basically here to lower the 39th's score :P

Offline Plankton

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #36 on: April 13, 2005, 02:22:06 PM »
It is a fine flame, but as I said in the post, I can't  take any credit.  It is pure plagiarism.  I found it on an old WB board in the late 90s.

Offline slimm50

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #37 on: April 13, 2005, 02:29:13 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Knite
... just the horror I feel for giving accolates to that ...

That's "accolades", you sausage brain.

Offline bob149

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #38 on: April 13, 2005, 02:29:53 PM »
mechanic  stfu u ho cherry picking dweeb no skills  dweeb dweeby dweeb dweeb...and did i mention yr a dweeb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(is that better , didint use capps this time :)....i am trying to learn this new ah skill.)

Offline jodgi

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #39 on: April 13, 2005, 02:31:25 PM »
Maybe I should put my attempts on humour in such a forum.

I've felt the whip of "deleted for flame" lately.

Or maybe I need to read up on this "humour" thing...

Offline Lazerr

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #40 on: April 13, 2005, 02:31:38 PM »
Did someone fart?  Because this thread stinks...:eek:

Offline jodgi

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #41 on: April 13, 2005, 02:33:56 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Lazerr
Did someone fart?  Because this thread stinks...:eek:


Quote
"He who senses, sent."


Confucious said that.

Offline slimm50

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #42 on: April 13, 2005, 02:34:02 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Lazerr
Did someone fart?  Because this thread stinks...:eek:

It's official. Guess we can all stop posting now.:rolleyes:

Offline Lazerr

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #43 on: April 13, 2005, 02:36:33 PM »
I didn't send anything... and if I did I would take the blame for it, and half of you would be gagging. ;)

Offline BlueJ1

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Official Flame Thread
« Reply #44 on: April 13, 2005, 02:44:54 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Lazerr
I didn't send anything... and if I did I would take the blame for it, and half of you would be gagging. ;)


I did not know you could send a fart over the internet.
U.S.N.
Aviation Electrician MH-60S
OEF 08-09'