> Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn:
>
> 1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional
> to the number of helicopters in it.
>
> 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a
> clear and compelling reason why we observe
> daylight-saving time.
>
> 3. You should never say anything to a woman that
> even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant
> unless you can see an actual baby emerging from
> her at that moment.
>
> 4. The most powerful force in the universe is:
> gossip.
>
> 5. The one thing that unites all human beings,
> regardless of age, gender, religion, economic
> status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
> inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average
> drivers.
>
> 6. There comes a time when you should stop
> expecting other people to make a big deal about
> your birthday. That time is: age 11.
>
> 7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and
> "mental illness."
>
> 8. People who want to share their religious views
> with you almost never want you to share yours
> with them.
>
> 9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason
> why the human race has not achieved, and never
> will achieve, its full potential, that word would
> be "meetings."
>
> 10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized
> protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
>
> 11. If there really is a God who created the entire
> universe with all of its glories, and he decides
> to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use
> as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad
> hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.
>
> 12. You should not confuse your career with your life.
>
> 13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the
> waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.
>
> 14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way
> to take it too seriously.
>
> 15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is
> always one individual who perceives a solution and
> is willing to take command. Very often, that
> individual is crazy.
>
> 16. Your true friends love you, anyway.
>
> 17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up
> and dance.
>
