Just for what it's worth what follows is a short excerpt from my diary about my return to Viet Nam two years ago. No news reels no cameras just a guy who wanted to clear up some things. If you have never had your boots on the ground, this is just another tale, modified by your bias, fed to you by the media. If you have been there, then you know of what I speak.
As a result of my ill advised return to SEA I have had to deal with a lot of anger management, both mine and the Mrs. About half way home she starts crying gives me a whack and says '' don't you ever do that to me again''. You guys who are married will probably understand, it was not what I had done but that I was the only one handy.
Born and raised in Berkeley CA This is her first trip off the North American Continent. In fact up until I retired she had never been more than 50 miles from where she was born, well we did go to LA and Reno a couple of times. This was not a good choice for a first out of country trip.
I needed to go to the garbage dumps, the rice paddy's and the river she needed to go to the museums and Howard Johnson's. But the museums are all closed and there is no Howard Johnson's.
We had a official ''interpreter'' with us the whole time, even though I had hired one, we also had a couple guys who just happened to be going to the same place we went, ... for two weeks. They were not part of our party but they were always in sight. Once I figured out that our official interpreter would follow her, (because she kept giving stuff to the children, and I did not speak much) if we began to ''drift apart'', (we were warned repeatedly to stay together) I began to stretch the distance and managed to have a few conversations with just random people. My ''hired'' interpreter understood what I wanted to ask people and that helped immensely. Once he learned that I could understand what people were saying even though I could not ''speak'' the language he got extremely creative with interpreting my questions to them. This helped set them at ease and I believe they gave more truthful, rather than guarded, answers. The older the person the angrier they seemed about the war, the younger people seemed to harbor more hope that it was not over, but just a lull till they could again take up arms to over throw their oppressors.
The first week I spent three days in our room I just could not go out again. The feeling of failure of the most excruciating and abstract kind just overwhelmed me. I was as close as I ever hope to come again to hating. Not the enemy or the establishment or the Americans who let this happen, but those who actively advocated it.
If a Genie could grant me one wish it would be that every single person who protested and ran to Canada etc etc would get to spend ten years living here on the local economy with no help from ''home'', to better understand the misery they have wrought to fellow human beings.
On reflection it would do little good. They would understand, at last, the consequences of being young, idealistic and unwise, and the abject and utter destruction of a entire culture that was the consequence of their stupidity. But the mainstream American would neither be any wiser nor even care.
Comments from Nam.
I VC, I kill Americans in war, we fought for wrong side.
We won the war then everyone lose.
We love uncle Ho but his politics were wrong.
We want to be free, we are not free.
My family had land for many years, the communists came now no one has land.
They sent us away to other community's, we can no longer tend the resting place of our ancestors.
I made 30 dollars a day when the Americans were here now I make 30 dollars a year, It was even better when the French were here.
when the communists came I hide, they killed my whole family.
We speak American, (sorely few words, but nevertheless) we teach our children. And the children are relentless about telling one every word they know.
The number one question asked, by the children, they are curious but reserved, ''Lyn So!?'' (Russian) shake your head no and they begin to jabber and become excited. ''American!?'' shake your head yes, ''You come back???'' hope glittering in their young eyes!
What does one tell them??
I need to reflect before I write more about the trip. I am just to pi$$ed off to be objective right now. Reminded me of an American political campaign a few years back ''Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago?'' ...
adit: We cut it a week short the Mrs and I had had all we could take.
Adit 2 We flew into Da Nang not the peoples paradise of Hanoi.
