There are 2 Tom's in our office, one of which is me. When I say "office", I mean a 20' counter with 3 computers on it (2 in my end of the "office"). I spend some time there, but am outside sales primarily, while the other Tom runs the office and does dispatch.
When either of us answers the phone and the person asks for "Tom", the standard reply is, "Are you Happy or Mad?". The answerer takes the Happy people, and passes the pissed off people down to (the other) "Tom". Regular customers know our voices, of course.
When telemarketers call for the "owner or manager", we tell them that he is out, but that he, "Gus Rodreiquez" (an ex-employee who was a nice guy but a waste of flesh) is on the other line, on vacation, etc. We end up wasting way more of their time than they do ours, and get to enjoy the humor of the situation as well.
Not too far of topic, I hope.