Author Topic: Wise proverbs  (Read 305 times)

Offline SaburoS

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Wise proverbs
« on: August 10, 2005, 08:00:36 PM »
Sent to me, just sharing :)

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.  

A backward poet writes inverse.  

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.  

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.  

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.  

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.  

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.  

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.  

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.  

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?  

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.  

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.  

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.  

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.  

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)  

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.  

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.  

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.  

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.  

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.  

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.  

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.  

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.  

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.  

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.  

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.  

Every calendar's days are numbered.  

A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.  

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.  

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.  

A plateau is a high form of flattery.  

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at
large.  

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.  

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.  

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.  

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.  

Acupuncture is a jab well done
Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. ... Bertrand Russell

Offline SunKing

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Wise proverbs
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2005, 08:05:42 PM »
Great zazen has more material to babble on 200 now..

Offline Wolfala

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« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2005, 12:04:05 AM »
He who farts at midnight wakes up with brown sheets.


the best cure for "wife ack" is to deploy chaff:    $...$$....$....$$$.....$ .....$$$.....$ ....$$

Offline CyranoAH

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« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2005, 03:54:18 AM »
There are just 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don't.

Daniel

Offline Bluedog

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« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2005, 06:51:18 AM »
He who walks through a door sideways is allways going to Bangkok.

Offline Eagler

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« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2005, 07:24:03 AM »
this too shall pass
"Masters of the Air" Scenario - JG27


Intel Core i7-13700KF | GIGABYTE Z790 AORUS Elite AX | 64GB G.Skill DDR5 | 16GB GIGABYTE RTX 4070 Ti Super | 850 watt ps | pimax Crystal Light | Warthog stick | TM1600 throttle | VKB Mk.V Rudder

Offline AWMac

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« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2005, 07:36:53 AM »
In two more weeks.

:D

Offline straffo

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« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2005, 12:51:31 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by CyranoAH
There are just 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don't.

Daniel


nerd/geek




:)

Offline DoctorYO

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« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2005, 12:56:56 PM »
"a girl who looks good from far away is usually far from good.."

:aok


Old Chinese Proverb....



DoctorYo

Offline StarOfAfrica2

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Wise proverbs
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2005, 02:23:47 PM »
1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss: the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning.! One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled, and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of
course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen! - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A lady said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will.
He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.


14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.