Due to increasing product liability litigation, beer manufacturers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when
you are not.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
amazinhunk.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung
fu powers.
9. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and see something really scary
(whose species and or name you can't remember).
10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
11. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really,really big guy named
FRANZ.
12. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
13. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing
WITH you.
14. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small and sometimes-large gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
15. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy
------------------
Nathan "NATEDOG" Mathieu
Art Director
HiTech Creations
-=HELLFIRE SQUAD=-
".... And on the eighth day, God created beer. "
