By the way this is an excellent for working your mojo, or lack thereof, on chicks at bars or parties.
Alcohol = depressant = relaxes muscles.
You're chilln at the crib, extra large, with your posse and a few 40's. Sheila wants a ride to get a little something something...and you ask yourself "Am I under the influence of an alcoholic beverage?!"
Shelia is WoFats sister, thus a FatHo, so you hit up FatHos hot friend Dee. Like Rico Suave on Ludes you calmly work your mack "check me for nystagmus baby" "Nystagmus", is one of those words nobody has heard before, ever. Dee eyes your junk at hearing a smart person word thinking you must have $$ she can grub.
Here's what you're looking for... alcohol will relax your eye muscles causing them eyes to "bounce" horizontally, AKA "horizontal nystagmus"... we call it "lack of smooth pursuit"
Dee: moves her finger from left to right at a medium pace, 12-15” from your face holding her finger slightly above your eye line (to keep your eyes wide open).
You: stand tall heels together feet apart, head straight using ONLY your eyes to follow her finger... and look at any sweater melons she may have on display.
Your eye balls will have a "dead zone" where they will follow her finger smoothly starting from looking straight forward. Once her finger nears your peripheral vision, if your eyes start to bounce, stutter or go to FPS of 2.. you're under the influence. The SOONER your eyes start to stutter (from looking forward), the HIGHER YOUR BAC.
There's what we called "angle of onset" where a practiced / trained gendarme (like me) could peg your blood alcohol level based on the angle nystagmus kept your eyes from smooth pursuit.
What about vertical nystagmus?: Isn't used for DUI since this occurs only in extreme alcohol lightweights.. the only drug that causes pronounced VN is PCP. But hey, if you're sitting around smokin dust and want to check your friends for VN, don't blame me if they eat your hand.
