Author Topic: AH2 commercial preview (Read 340 times)

mechanic · « **on:** October 11, 2005, 09:08:11 AM »

http://www.freeroleentertainment.com/advert.wmv

only a rough lay out. comments?

dont tell me the views suck, i love my views.

megadud · « **Reply #1 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:11:50 AM »

i would give it an 8

didn't like the shadow text at the end. maybe a couple more gv shots. was very good though

mechanic · « **Reply #2 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:20:07 AM »

thanks mega, do you have a good narative voice? i need a yank to have the right voice for this.

but seriously yeah the title boards will be overlayed and totaly different colour.

sounds and voice next, then make another entry

Blammo · « **Reply #3 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:29:15 AM »

In general, a very well done movie. Just a coupld of suggestions:

1) The shadow text is distractions and confuses the scene. Move the shadows closer to the foreground test and drop it down a touch.

2) Explosions! Get some explosions in the film. Particularly, if you can capture an explosion with a plane flying through it...that always makes for good drama.

3) I also agree that you need some more GV shots.

4) More cockpit views with panning and scanning about (when I say more, even one would be good).

5) Finally, build the drama and action. Right now it is a collections of shorts from the game (which is fine), but has nothing to draw anyone in. Tell a story with your film. Dosen't take a lot to do that, but maybe start off with a group rolling out and then flash into the action.

Take this all with a grain of salt. I couldn't make even what you have done here, but I know what I like and what I don't.

Cheers!

Morpheus · « **Reply #4 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:31:04 AM »

here's a rough lay out comment.

it should be 30 seconds long.

mechanic · « **Reply #5 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:37:45 AM »

Blammo, constructive analysis, thanks, exactly what i need.

theres meant to be a short story with the B24 raid and the chog, but its so hard to get alot of clips into 30secs.

my next atempt will cover just one sortie i think, and have more of the stuff you said. and of course, the title boards are not more than 4 seconds typing, just as a reference for me.

thank you morpheus as well, i realise it is 37 seconds long but you will notice that is just about 6 seconds of the title board that wont even be used. i believe HTC has stated that previews do not need to be avi files nor the exact rendition of the final cut.
very kind of you to take an interest also.

the zeke killed by la5 looks so sweet

megadud · « **Reply #6 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:39:19 AM »

i would not be a good narrater or however you spell it but thanks for asking

Morpheus · « **Reply #7 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:41:56 AM »

Cool.

Commercials for games never work out being stories. You really want to show all areas of the game esp TOD. You really want the viewers to see alot if not all of AH in 30 seconds, yet still keep them wanting to see more. Just my 2 cents.

mechanic · « **Reply #8 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:44:38 AM »

yes, definitely missing out CVs, HQ, Jets, buffs dying, GVs, vulching etc....

...damn it, i made an advert to hook someone exactly like me. that wont work, no one will like it, literally.

ok, back to drawing board.

thanks all.

megadud · « **Reply #9 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:47:20 AM »

wtg morph you broke his spirit! jerk!

mechanic · « **Reply #10 on:** October 11, 2005, 09:50:50 AM »

lol dont be silly mega, morph just gave me a hard lined opinion after realising his jab about it being too long wasnt penetrating.

my spirit aint for breakin'

Pyro · « **Reply #11 on:** October 11, 2005, 10:00:55 AM »

Here's my critique of some things to help you out. I think you're coming along pretty well.

Most of the air combat takes place either against a blue sky or a blue sea which gives it a plain homogenous look. The good thing about that is that it makes it easier to see the planes but a little more variety through clouds and terrain would help the overall look.

Keep your shots as steady as possible. Any bouncing around of the camera or subject is distracting. Overall, you're pretty good but there's a couple of things that could be tightened up like in the first sequence with the B-24s where a lurch takes place at the end of scene. Changing the playback speed can be used in some shots to help with this. When using films, be more careful when jumping to other people's planes. The positional data of other people will not be recorded as finely as your own.

Using a Lavochkin for the interior cockpit shot is not a good choice. That's one of the oldest and most dated looking planes that we have as it's very polygonal and plain. I'd highly recommend using one of the updated planes for interior stuff.

I don't think the kill on the laggy zero shows well. It looks unnatural to me. I really like the P-51B knocking of the wing of another plane.

The end text needs more work. It's hard to read and probably needs to be tweaked to provide a more compelling message. Use http://www.flyaceshigh.com instead of hitechcreations. Make sure the URL is prominent.

Don't forget to keep the length to 30 seconds for the final cut.

Have you got a script drafted for it already?

Morpheus · « **Reply #12 on:** October 11, 2005, 10:09:33 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by mechanic
lol dont be silly mega, morph just gave me a hard lined opinion after realising his jab about it being too long wasnt penetrating.

my spirit aint for breakin'

That wasnt a jab. You asked for opinions and i gave you one. Constructive criticism man... Dont be so sensitive. If your story can tell all there is to tell about AH and show the viewers whta AH has to offer and still keep within the 30 seconds more power to you.

mechanic · « **Reply #13 on:** October 11, 2005, 10:31:11 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Pyro
Here's my critique of some things to help you out. I think you're coming along pretty well.

Most of the air combat takes place either against a blue sky or a blue sea which gives it a plain homogenous look. The good thing about that is that it makes it easier to see the planes but a little more variety through clouds and terrain would help the overall look.

Keep your shots as steady as possible. Any bouncing around of the camera or subject is distracting. Overall, you're pretty good but there's a couple of things that could be tightened up like in the first sequence with the B-24s where a lurch takes place at the end of scene. Changing the playback speed can be used in some shots to help with this. When using films, be more careful when jumping to other people's planes. The positional data of other people will not be recorded as finely as your own.

Using a Lavochkin for the interior cockpit shot is not a good choice. That's one of the oldest and most dated looking planes that we have as it's very polygonal and plain. I'd highly recommend using one of the updated planes for interior stuff.

I don't think the kill on the laggy zero shows well. It looks unnatural to me. I really like the P-51B knocking of the wing of another plane.

The end text needs more work. It's hard to read and probably needs to be tweaked to provide a more compelling message. Use http://www.flyaceshigh.com instead of hitechcreations. Make sure the URL is prominent.

Don't forget to keep the length to 30 seconds for the final cut.

Have you got a script drafted for it already?

thank you for the viewing sir! you know what you want and thats the answer i really needed.

agree, of course, with everything you say, and will work on cutting the bugs and lags.

only put this together this morning so havnt thought of a script but it isnt difficult. maybe you would have some guidlines for the script?

yes

the title board is so untastefull, its black and white in the movie editor.