Why did the chicken cross the road?
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain
and
simple as that.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
KEN STARR
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behestof the
president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law
enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal
wrongdoing
our highest elected official has been trying to coverup. As a
result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and
elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For
that
reason, my staff intends to offer thechicken unconditional immunity
provided
he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore,
the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road
until
our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have
been
completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked
information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be
homosexual
in an effortto discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer,
or
at least to ruffle his feathers.)
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have
to
cross before you believe it?
FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs,file your important documents, and balance
yourcheckbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
