Author Topic: You Know You're a Redneck When...  (Read 499 times)

Offline bowser

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« on: April 13, 2001, 11:09:00 AM »
You know you’re a redneck when:

1. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
2. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
3. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
4. You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
5. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
6. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
7. You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
8. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
9. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
10. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
11. You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
12. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.

Stole the best ones from another BBS.  Feel free to add to the list.  

bowser

Offline Karnak

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2001, 11:57:00 AM »
13.  You help your richest relative take the wheels off of his new home.
14.  You mow your lawn and find an entire car on cinder blocks.
15.  Your front porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs.
Petals floating by,
      Drift through my woman's hand,
             As she remembers me-

Offline Ripsnort

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2001, 12:04:00 PM »
You should see the looks I get from neighbors driving by in their BMW's and Mercedes benz when my dog starts working the Elk leg bones I give him from recent hunting trips in the fall.  

Offline rosco-

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2001, 02:28:00 PM »
 When someone askes for you ID and you show them your belt buckle.

 If your wife has ever had her hair caught in a ceiling fan

 If you go to family reunions to pick up women.


Offline mrfish

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2001, 02:41:00 PM »
when....

you post long stories on the aces high bbs about your truck, sweatiness and guns.

Offline Eagler

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2001, 03:02:00 PM »
 
Quote
Originally posted by mrfish:
when....

you post long stories on the aces high bbs about your truck, sweatiness and guns.

lol

Eagler
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TheWobble

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2001, 05:24:00 PM »
Yew gonna be a paying fer that ye little sheeit!!

 

Offline SOB

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2001, 05:39:00 PM »
when...

you start quoting Jeff Foxworthy  
Three Times One Minus One.  Dayum!

Offline Dowding

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You Know You're a Redneck When...
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2001, 05:52:00 PM »
lol MrFish. Quite literally lol.  
War! Never been so much fun. War! Never been so much fun! Go to your brother, Kill him with your gun, Leave him lying in his uniform, Dying in the sun.