Author Topic: Married life......  (Read 385 times)

Offline Maverick

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Married life......
« on: December 29, 2005, 07:56:19 PM »
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
    little beverage, good food and companionship.
    She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
   Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
   but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our    
    anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"    
    she said.
    So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
   If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric    
   bread maker.
   She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
   to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
   there was water in the carburetor.
   I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late  
   for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
     first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
     I don't like to interrupt her.

13. T he last fight was my fault though.
    ! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
     I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it.........this is the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........  just clean and simple fun
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Offline BlueJ1

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Married life......
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2005, 07:58:45 PM »
13. T he last fight was my fault though.
! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"


I like this one.
U.S.N.
Aviation Electrician MH-60S
OEF 08-09'

Offline DREDIOCK

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Re: Married life......
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2005, 08:32:39 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Maverick
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
    little beverage, good food and companionship.
    She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
   Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.



If it were just these two.
 It would be the perfect marriage:cool:
Death is no easy answer
For those who wish to know
Ask those who have been before you
What fate the future holds
It ain't pretty

Offline capt. apathy

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Married life......
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2005, 10:12:26 PM »
marriage isn't all bad.

even after 21 years it's still not worth half my stuff to get rid of her.


Offline DREDIOCK

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Married life......
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2005, 12:10:26 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by capt. apathy
marriage isn't all bad.

even after 21 years it's still not worth half my stuff to get rid of her.

[


Going on 22 years here.

Marriage does grow on you....
Kinda like a wart;)
Death is no easy answer
For those who wish to know
Ask those who have been before you
What fate the future holds
It ain't pretty

storch

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Married life......
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2005, 07:21:20 AM »
going on 29 here. easily the best decision that was ever made for me :D

Offline Eagler

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Married life......
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2005, 07:27:33 AM »
27.5 years here .... makes me about 46 :)

our 27 year old son was a contributing factor :)
"Masters of the Air" Scenario - JG27


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Offline lazs2

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Married life......
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2005, 07:57:52 AM »
I liked the one that went.... "I take her everywhere I go... so I don't have to kiss the ***** goodbye."

divorce is allways worth it... It is rarely 1/2... more like 2/3 but... like a war, it eventually gets paid off... a wife, like socialism and entitlements... never gets paid off.

lazs

Offline HugeHead

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Married life......
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2005, 08:13:53 AM »
My Father gave me two bits of advice when I got married a few years ago.

1 - Never go to bed with out telling her you love her.

2 - If at any time during the course of the entire marriage you are ever proven to be positively, absolutely and irrevocably correct....apologize immediately.

Regards,
HH

storch

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Married life......
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2005, 08:15:56 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by HugeHead
My Father gave me two bits of advice when I got married a few years ago.

1 - Never go to bed with out telling her you love her.

2 - If at any time during the course of the entire marriage you are ever proven to be positively, absolutely and irrevocably correct....apologize immediately.

Regards,
HH
:rofl on number two

Offline NUTTZ

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Married life......
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2005, 11:41:07 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Going on 22 years here.

Marriage does grow on you....
Kinda like a wart;)


I think it's like a hangnail, you wiggle it...kinda hurts, kinda feels good.

NUTTZ
26 years married and still in love:)

Offline capt. apathy

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Married life......
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2005, 01:41:23 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by HugeHead


2 - If at any time during the course of the entire marriage you are ever proven to be positively, absolutely and irrevocably correct....apologize immediately.

Regards,
HH


good advice.

you generally have 2 choices.  you can be happy or you can be right.