NASA to Recruit Suicidal Muslims for Next Shuttle Crew
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOUSTON — NASA scientists have decided not to fix the Space Shuttle to make it safe, and instead have decided to recruit suicidal Muslims for the Shuttle crew.
“Duct tape and chicken wire were not working,” said NASA Chief Mad Scientist, Dr. Weiner von Himmler, “and we don’t want to spend any more money of the spacecraft itself. Were devoting all our money to engineers’ salaries; we have 14,000 in Florida alone, where they vote, incidentally.”
The scientist said risk of catastrophe was unavoidable in manned space flights.
“It is what we call allowable risk,” he said. “It is also known around here as a long shot, crap shoot, winger, widow maker, Hail Mary, and death wish. We have some fun with these names!
“Anyway, people forget that there are 2.5 million parts on the Shuttle that work flawlessly. Let’s get some credit for that! It’s true that you need 2.7 million parts to keep the Shuttle in the air, but 2.5 divided by 2.7 is 93%, and last I heard that was an ‘A’ in high school!
Emma Dubin