Things I Learn From My Patients...

[lothar]

Not sure if this has been posted here before.  Sad but funny stuff, but then I have rather warped sense of humur.

Student Doctor Network

Things I Learn From My Patients
Tonight I learned yet another helpful life lesson from one of my patients. If you're on the street corner selling coke and you see the cops coming to bust you don't eat all your coke. Having been taught this valuable lesson I will now know better than to do this and wind up going to the ER in handcuffs, seizing uncontrollably, aspirating my vomit and doing all of this with a white powder moustache looking like and ad for "Got Coke?"
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Emergency Medicine - Saving the world from seeing its primary care doctor.


Another good one..

never leave your last refill of percocet in plain site after your docs office closes if one of these 3 friends is coming over for dinner:
1. some dude
2. my friend
3. that *****
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Emergency Medicine P.A./Instructor
19 Years working in EM


Well another professor of life came through last night and bestowed some wisdom on me which I'll share. No matter how annoyed you are at being incarcerated dont slash open your apple and shove razor blades up your urethra. Now I know, who among us hasn't thought wistfully of doing that but it turns out that it's not a good idea.

[RedDg]

[Shaky]

The Law of Inverse Value: the less you contribute to society, the greater the trauma you can sustain with minimal to no physical sequelae, including falls from 3 stories, stabbings (chest, neck, head, slashings to the face), gunshot wounds (chest, neck, pelvis, leg, traumatic arrest (only to be killed 7 years later in a separate GSW incident)), and high speed MVC's, unrestrained, where multiple people in the other vehicle are killed.

Ask any medic, cop, ED doc or nirse..they'll confirm this one.

[eskimo2]

Originally posted by lothar

 No matter how annoyed you are at being incarcerated dont slash open your apple and shove razor blades up your urethra. Now I know, who among us hasn't thought wistfully of doing that but it turns out that it's not a good idea.

Thanks, I was just about to do that...

eskimo