Ok, It's probably because I'm a deranged frequent reader of Scrappleface.Com, but I got a guffaw out of the last paragraph of this, particularly the line about MREs...
February 14, 2006
Bill Lifts Ban on Gay, Fat or Pregnant Troops
by Scott Ott(2006-02-14) — The sponsor of a House bill to lift the ban on homosexuals in the military said today that he would add a provision removing the bans on overweight and pregnant troops as well.
Rep. Martin Meehan, D-MA, released a report today showing that the military’s ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy has resulted in 9,501 people leaving the service during a 10-year period due to their alleged homosexuality, wasting roughly $364 million in training investments and other costs.
During that same time, 36,513 people separated from the service for failing to meet weight standards, and 26,446 left during pregnancy.
The Government Accounting Office (GAO) estimated the cost of losing 62,959 troops who were either pregnant or overweight at $2.4 billion.
“The military desperately needs recruits, and we’re rejecting patriotic Americans because of irrelevant lifestyle choices,” said Rep. Meehan, a member of the House Armed Services Committee who sponsored the bill to lift the bans. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ has failed for homosexuals, and it would not work for fat or pregnant troops either because their lifestyle choices are even more obvious. One way or the other, they’re coming out.”
The Pentagon opposes lifting the bans, which it says are necessary to maintain morale and order in combat.
“When you’re in a foxhole,” said an unnamed Pentagon spokesman, “you don’t have time to think about whether the soldier next to you is fond of you, or if he might eat your MRE, or possibly go into labor. In a life or death situation, you can’t have distractions like that.”
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- SEAGOON