Author Topic: Texas "Love" poem  (Read 280 times)

Offline Ripsnort

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Texas "Love" poem
« on: September 20, 2000, 11:37:00 AM »
Ain' t love grand???

> > > > Texas REDNECK LUV POME
> > >
> > > > Collards is green,
> > > > my dog's name is Blue
> > > > and I'm so lucky
> > > > to have a sweet thang like you.
> > > >
> > > > Yore hair is like cornsilk
> > > > a-flapping in the breeze.
> > > > Softer than Blue's
> > > > and without all them fleas.
> > > >
> > > > You move like the bass,
> > > > which excite me in May.
> > > > You ain't got no scales
> > > > but I luv you anyway.
> > > >
> > > > Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
> > > > jist a-fry'n in the pan.
> > > > Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
> > > > right out of the can.
> > > >
> > > > You have some'a yore teeth,
> > > > for which I am proud;
> > > > I hold my head high
> > > > when we're in a crowd.
> > > >
> > > > On special occasions,
> > > > when you shave under yore arms,
> > > > well, I'm in hawg heaven,
> > > > and awed by yore charms.
> > > >
> > > > Still them fellers at work,
> > > > they all want to know,
> > > > what I did to deserve
> > > > such a purdy, young doe.
> > > >
> > > > Like a good roll of duct tape
> > > > yo're there fer yore man,
> > > > to patch up life's troubles
> > > > and fix what you can.
> > > >
> > > > Yo're as cute as a junebug
> > > > a-buzzin' overhead.
> > > > You ain't mean like those far ants
> > > > I found in my bed.
> > > >
> > > > Cut from the best cloth
> > > > like a plaid flannel shirt,
> > > > you spark up my life
> > > > more than a fresh load of dirt.
> > > >
> > > > When you hold me real tight
> > > > like a padded gunrack,
> > > > my life is complete;
> > > > Ain't nuttin' I lack.
> > > >
> > > > Yore complexion, it's perfection,
> > > > like the best vinyl sidin'.
> > > > despite all the years,
> > > > yore age, it keeps hidin'.
> > > >
> > > > Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
> > > > with a RC cold drank,
> > > > we go together
> > > > like a skunk goes with stank.
> > > >
> > > > Some men, they buy chocolate
> > > > for Valentine's Day;
> > > > They git it at Wal-Mart,
> > > > it's romantic that way.
> > > >
> > > > Some men git roses
> > > > on that special day
> > > > from the cooler at Kroger.
> > > > That's impressive," I say.
> > > >
> > > > Some men buy fine diamonds
> > > > from a flea market booth.
> > > > "Diamonds are forever,"
> > > > they explain, suave and couth.
> > > >
> > > > But for this man, honey,
> > > > these won't do.
> > > > Cause yor'e too special,
> > > > you sweet thang you.
> > > >
> > > > I got you a gift,
> > > > without taste nor odor,
> > > > more useful than diamonds......
> > > >
> > > > IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
>


Offline AKDejaVu

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Texas "Love" poem
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2000, 01:36:00 PM »
 
Quote
Like a good roll of duct tape

I had just wrapped up 20 hours of meetings in 3 days to resolve a chemical issue at work.  An elaborate plan had been devised by 10 PhD engineers to recover a solvent from a clogged drain line.

At the end of the meeting.. one of the engineers says, "OK.. just so we are clear here.. we will be using duck tape to do something.. right?"

Everyone in the room echoed a chorus of "Of course we will".

We are Americans

AKDejaVu

Offline StSanta

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Texas "Love" poem
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2000, 01:42:00 PM »
ROFL!

ROFL!

Great stuff  

True insight into the life of the American redneck, eh?  

------------------
StSanta
JG54 "Grünherz"
 
"Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again"

[This message has been edited by StSanta (edited 09-20-2000).]

Offline Skuzzy

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Texas "Love" poem
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2000, 01:59:00 PM »
Thar's no way those lines, written so eloquent
could have been written by a scruffy redneck

Trust me on this as best you can,
there ain't no way they're written by a Texan.

When we speak, we don't sound so wise
and then thar's that look in our dull glazed eyes

As long as the beer is cold and the truck has gas,
we will be happy campers, you can bet your sweet a**

 


------------------
Roy "Skuzzy" Neese
President, AppLink Corp.
http://www.applink.net
skuzzy@applink.net
Roy "Skuzzy" Neese
support@hitechcreations.com