Author Topic: I AM CANADIAN (Read 425 times)

BagPiper · « **on:** September 23, 2000, 03:15:00 PM »

IF any of you fellow canuckleheads, or some of you US guys have seen these "I Am Canadian" Molson beer adds (mmm, beer), I thought you'ld appreciate this spoof.

Hey.
I'm not a red neck gun nut,
A middle-aged balding man,
or any threat to society, whatsoever...
I do not support gun registration,
or confiscation without compensation,
or the UN plan to disarm all gun owners
or Bill C-68: The Ineffective Firearms Act.

I live in a democracy,
not an elected dictatorship.
I value my freedom to enjoy target shooting and hunting
and contribute to protecting our magnificent environment.
I observe and respect all game laws,
and store my firearms safely.

I believe in crime prevention, not social engineering and people control.
Tolerance, not intolerance,
And that the shooting sports are a truly proud and noble tradition.
A firearm is my legal private property,
And I believe in the right to self-defense.

Canada is the best country in the world!
It has 7 million gun owners and 21 million firearms.
Violent crime is not on the rise
but has been declining for the past 7 years.
I honor the sacrifices of our valiant war veterans
And I am ready to stand on guard for my country. My name is Joe!
And I am proud to be a Canadian gun owner!

WizOfClay · « **Reply #1 on:** September 25, 2000, 09:54:00 AM »

HAHAHA, pretty appropriate considering the type of threads that are popping up here...

if any of you are interested, here is the script for the real commerical...

<clears throat>
Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak english and french, NOT american.
and I pronouce it 'ABOUT',NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sow my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
A TOQUE IS A HAT,
A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!

CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY!
AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
MY NAME IS JOE!!
AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

------------------
Wiz of TSM

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
--W.C. Fields (1879-1946)

Udie · « **Reply #2 on:** September 25, 2000, 10:22:00 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by WizOfClay:
HAHAHA, pretty appropriate considering the type of threads that are popping up here...

if any of you are interested, here is the script for the real commerical...

<clears throat>
Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak english and french, NOT american.
and I pronouce it 'ABOUT',NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sow my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
A TOQUE IS A HAT,
A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!

CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY!
AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
MY NAME IS JOE!!
AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

if any of you are interested, here is the script for the real commerical...

<clears throat>
Hey.
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak english and french, NOT american.
and I pronouce it 'ABOUT',NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sow my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
A TOQUE IS A HAT,
A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!

CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY!
AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
MY NAME IS JOE!!
AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

------------------
Wiz of TSM

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
--W.C. Fields (1879-1946)

I have to step in. While I'm sure Canada is a very nice land mass

I have to take issue with your aclaim that it's the best part of North America. Texas! Yes Texas! is the best part of North America

Where do you think WB and AH and WW2OL are from?

Texas!

Udie

Just so I don't start a war between Canada and Texas, this note was in jest

BagPiper · « **Reply #3 on:** September 25, 2000, 09:35:00 PM »

Heh np here at all, I love Texas, and many Texan's I've met down there refer to my province and especially city as "little Texas", or "Texas North", and this bothers me not one bit.

Guys like Sam Niel always lead our Stampeded parade here, and tons of westerns, such as Unforgiven, etc have been shot here.

God Bless Texas!

Udie · « **Reply #4 on:** September 25, 2000, 09:53:00 PM »

Are you from Calgary? referring to the Calgary Stampede?

In 8th grade my best friend was from Calgary. We went to the rodeo here in Houston and he used to always talk about the Calgary Stampede. I've always wanted to check it out and compare it to the Houston Livestock Show & Rodea, it's a realy huge event here in Houston each year.

Nothing quite like bull riding in the Astrodome

Udie

BagPiper · « **Reply #5 on:** September 25, 2000, 10:24:00 PM »

You betcha Udie.

We just bought a couple of horses ourselves, but I'm the typical rhinestone cowboy, unless you western shooting events, where I kick ass.

The old man rode rodeo, and damn near went pro way back when, but after 29 years as a cop, he's retired to a nice 125 quarter feed farm and about 1500 cattle. You and him would probably get on great. If you ever want to come up to Stampede Udie, let me know, be more than happy to put you up and feed you.