Recent LA Times article:
By ROY RIVENBURG, Times Staff Writer
News item: The U.S. Army is considering a program to give every soldier a
hand-held computer equipped with wireless Internet access. "This has the
potential to greatly enhance the Army's ability to fight," said one defense
analyst.
Then again . . .
E-mail from: Sgt. Bill Koe
To: B Company troops
Subject: Attack enemy position NOW!
Operation Desert Drizzle is now officially underway, men. This is a
tightly coordinated land, sea and air attack. Our specific mission is detailed
in the attached map file. I'm also sending a jpg file containing a blessing
from our chaplain.
From: Pvt. G. Pyle
To: Sgt. Bill Koe
Sarge, we need to postpone. Henderson's server crashed; Ballard and Smith
are in the middle of downloading songs off Napster; and I just got to Level
Eight on Donkey Kong, which I've never done before. I can't stop now.
From: Cpl. Agarn
To: Sgt. Bill Koe
Sir, there's a virus in the chaplain attachment. It won't open.
From: B Company
To: 38th Artillery Brigade
Dudes, we're pinned down by sniper fire. :-(
Need you to shell the coordinates marked on attached file.
From: 38th Artillery Brigade
To: B Company
Roger. Fed your data into Microsoft Blitzkrieg 5.0. Should take care of
sniper problem. ;-)
From: B Company
To: 38th Artillery Brigade
Oops, you just blew up the Belgian Embassy. LOL.
From: 38th Artillery Brigade
To: B Company
Ha. I knew we should've upgraded to Blitzkrieg 5.2. Hang on, will try
again. In meantime, check out the babes at
www.hotmilitarymamas.com. From: Col. Robert Hogan
To: 29th Regiment--All Officers and Soldiers
Preliminary reconnaissance indicates that 38% of Air Force's "smart bombs"
failed to detonate or veered off course. Recommend logging onto E-Trade ASAP
and selling your defense stocks before news breaks back home.
From: Pfc. Ryan
To: killkillkill@aol.com,bmurray@doowahdiddy.org,
binghampton@makewarnotlove.net, harrison@UNpeacekeeper.com,
duvall22@lovethesmellofnapalminmorning.com
This is not a joke! I am forwarding this e-mail because the person who
sent it to me studied law in ROTC and says it's for real. The U.S. Army and
Microsoft are considering a merger to form a corporate military power capable
of ruling the world. As a prelude to assuming total control over every aspect
of our lives, Microsoft is running an e-mail beta test. When you forward this
e-mail to other soldiers, the CIA will track it and the Army will increase your
veterans benefits by $5 a year per forward. If you send it to 100 people, you
will also be given a Silver Star. If you forward it to 1,000 people, you will
be named commander of an entire city under the new Microsoft regime. Maybe this
is bogus, but what have we got to lose??!!? Send this e-mail to every soldier
you know!
From: B Company
To: Allied Command HQ
May Day! We've just captured the enemy's secret antiaircraft headquarters
but need IMMEDIATE REINFORCEMENTS or we could be driven out.
From: Mail Delivery Subsystem
To: B Company
DELIVERY FAILURE. Error code 255: Message did not reach intended recipient
due to system delays. Try again later.
------------------
With respect,
Pavel Pavlov,
Commissar 25th IAP WB VVS
