NEW GLOBAL MEASUREMENTS
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
 Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:  1 bananosecond
 Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
  Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling:  1 lite year
 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
 Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
  Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
  Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment)
 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
 1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone
 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
 365.25 days: 1 unicycle
 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)
 10 cards: 1 decacards
 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
 10 rations: 1 decoration
 100 rations: 1 C-ration
 2 monograms: 1 diagram
  8 nickels: 2 paradigms
 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
[This message has been edited by Ripsnort (edited 10-12-2000).]