Author Topic: rules for the wife/girlfrend during the World Cup (Read 294 times)

Banzzai · « **on:** May 31, 2006, 05:22:38 PM »

LIST OF RULES

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this... why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards

lasersailor184 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 31, 2006, 07:13:19 PM »

Rule number 13: If I do watch more then 2 soccer games involving teams that are not of my home country, castrate me. I am not manly enough to procreate in this world.

rpm · « **Reply #2 on:** May 31, 2006, 07:44:13 PM »

I thought Rule 1 would be: Explain this girly sport to a man.

AlGorithm · « **Reply #3 on:** May 31, 2006, 08:03:51 PM »

World Cup of What?

soda72 · « **Reply #4 on:** May 31, 2006, 08:07:01 PM »

I think it's an American Baseball thing...

~Caligula~ · « **Reply #5 on:** May 31, 2006, 09:52:46 PM »

Where does the name soccer came from? I mean the name football fits this game lot more than the one where they barely even touch the ball by foot.
Other than that...it`s funny how all americans call it a girly game, for no other reason that they suck at it. Oh...I forgot USA won the women`s world cup. LOL, who watches women`s football? By the way, is WNBA still on? Biggest waste of money to please lesbians

DiabloTX · « **Reply #6 on:** June 01, 2006, 01:48:15 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by ~Caligula~
Where does the name soccer came from? I mean the name football fits this game lot more than the one where they barely even touch the ball by foot.

Know your history before posting.

Way back when, football was more like rugby than what you know now as American football. It's been around for well over 100 years and has changed to the point where you wouldn't recognize the original football games.

Soccer is still a girly-man sport.

So there, neener neener neener!!

Blank · « **Reply #7 on:** June 01, 2006, 04:53:57 AM »

types of footy

Quote

Originally posted by ~Caligula~
Where does the name soccer came from? I mean the name football fits this game lot more than the one where they barely even touch the ball by foot.

as i understand it:

there are different types of football:

Association football - As(SOC)iation ie "Soccer" Football = soccer
Rugby football - Rugby
american football - american football
Australian rules football - big punch up on a round pitch
Galic football - another punch up

to name a few.

so as you can see football is a name given to a family of team sports.

and 'Soccer' the nickname for Association football

Swoop · « **Reply #8 on:** June 01, 2006, 05:31:07 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by DiabloTX
Know your history before posting.

Way back when, football was more like rugby than what you know now as American football. It's been around for well over 100 years and has changed to the point where you wouldn't recognize the original football games.

Actually matey, you're wrong. Rugby football was invented at a school in Rugby (a place in England) when a football player decided to pick the ball up and run with it and most of the opposing team jumped on him. Someone then decided this was way more fun than the non-contact sport of football.

Quote

Originally posted by DiabloTX
Soccer is still a girly-man sport.

I agree with you on this point. Ya dont see Rugby players (or American football players for that matter) rolling around on the floor crying at being tackled hard like most of todays poofy professional football (soccer) players.

SMIDSY · « **Reply #9 on:** June 01, 2006, 06:34:24 AM »

yah, them footballers realy lay it on thick when they get hurt, kinda pathetic that they cant get back up and walk it off like a real man. much the way they do in rugby and american football.

bikekil · « **Reply #10 on:** June 01, 2006, 07:49:14 AM »

ok, rugby is for man but "america football"? come on! "walk it off like a real man"? that means what? with tons of pillows, helmet and everything that could eventually protect you, how you can call it a man sport? let them play rugby and they will cry like...

Ok, football (the real one) players are also acting like girls with all that theatre about fouls etc... but the still can be hurt, opposite to "americal football" player who could been hit by a train without an injury... otherwise he'd sue the whole nation for his bruises

nevermind, i also like to watch your version of "football" as it could be fast and really tactical...

Jackal1 · « **Reply #11 on:** June 01, 2006, 08:02:20 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by rpm
I thought Rule 1 would be: Explain this girly sport to a man.

Or possibly......... It is your duty to block this channel from the remote.