"Hello, is this the RCMP?"
Yes. What do you want?"
I'm calling to report about my neighbour, Mike Fitzpatrick! He is
hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the RCMP officers descended on Mike's house. They
searched the shed where the firewood was kept. Using axes, they busted
open every piece of wood but found no marijuana. They swore at Mike and left.
The phone rang at Mike's house.
"Hey, Mike! Did the RCMP come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday, Buddy"
