1. A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife
(undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I
know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The
wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
2. Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and
leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person
looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her
the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
3. A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the
arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're
next!"
4. A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go
ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
5. What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it
mine?"
6. A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to
pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the
state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion
that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the
blonde chirped." Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed
the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I
swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was
ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left
and there was ....". "Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on
this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
7. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and
burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police
dispatcher broadcast the call on all the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the
first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down
on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a
BLIND policeman!"
Mav
