Top Eight Idiots of 2001... oh geeze

[Octavius]

Just recieved this in an e-mail    enjoy

Top Eight Idiots of 2001 - True stories

Idiot # 1
A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control
center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. The doctor quickly reassured her that the ants arenot
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to ill
the ants. The Dr. told her that she'd better bring her daughter into the
Emergency Room Right Away !!


Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator Beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.

LOL I think Rip was involved with this one  

Idiot # 3
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all
your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note
to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note
and might call the Police before he reached the teller's window. So he left
the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a
few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read
it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the Brightest
Light
in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a
few minutes later, as he was waiting inline back at Bank of America.
 
 
 Idiot #4
 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
 his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent the police department a photograph of $40.Several days later, he
received
a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
 
 
Idiot # 5
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license
out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called
the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off
the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

 
Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.


Idiot # 7
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty bad. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts

Idiot #8
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
walked away.
(Please note that these people are allowed to vote! Not only that but they
are allowed to reproduce and drive on our highways!)

Happy New Year

[ 01-07-2002: Message edited by: Octavius ]

[Animal]

hehe good list, specially the life raft thing.


Add the Cessna Window Breaker kid to the list.

[texace]

Yeah...I think Rip WAS involved...<G>

[Wotan]

That cinder block thing reminds of of a long time ago i was like 16 parked near a club in DC (9:30 club) bac in like '84 or '85 we were waiting for the doors to open ('twas GBH and Agnostic Front Brotherhood Tour : punk rock/hardcore combo show) and we were parked in an alley a few streets away drinkin Mickey's Big Mouth (back when they had the rip tops that would cut your hands open openning the bastards)

Anyway its was time for the show so I chugged one down and threw the hvy thick green bottle out the Window and against a wall that was no more then 2 feet away (enuff fer me to squeeze out the door)and I guess the bottle hit just right on the botton cause the fediddleer bounced back knocked the toejam out me blacking my eye and almost put me out. The bottle never broke.

Eye swelled up like I got hit with a hard baseball.

Otw home that night I held a 32 bottle of black label to my eye to keep the swelling down..........
and killed the pain with some loveboat...... lol

[Jester]

Another one from Arkansas:
     Seems some good old boys were out in the woods hunting. When it got time to go home they found that their truck wouldn't start. After going all over it the found that one of the fuzes had blown. They didn't have a spare so they got looking around for something to replace it with.
     Well it seems a .22 LR shell is just the right size to fit in a fuze holder. They put it in and sure enough the truck cranked right up and they headed on down the road. BUT, after a time the .22 shell started getting hot and finally discharged hitting the guy right in the "balls".
     Guess we are just blessed with them here in Arkansas.