Author Topic: Greatest Onion Ever (Read 285 times)

funkedup · « **on:** January 14, 2002, 04:00:21 PM »

http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/index.html

Yes it's old but it's still great.

weazel · « **Reply #1 on:** January 14, 2002, 04:09:56 PM »

WASHINGTON, DC—In a televised address to the American people Tuesday, a determined President Bush vowed that the U.S. would defeat "whoever exactly it is we're at war with here."

LOL!

Kind of reminds me of Moose "DUHHHH...Football"

funkedup · « **Reply #2 on:** January 14, 2002, 04:41:41 PM »

Quote

"To America's recording artists, I just want to say, please, there has already been enough suffering," Bush said. "The last thing we need right now is a soaring Barbra Streisand-Brian McKnight duet titled 'One For All.'"

capt. apathy · « **Reply #3 on:** January 14, 2002, 07:59:53 PM »

ya, that was the best ever.

"highjackers suprised to find themselves in hell"

Animal · « **Reply #4 on:** January 15, 2002, 10:16:49 AM »

From the 'God Angrily Clarifies 'dont kill anybody'' article:

Quote

"I'm talking to all of you, here!" continued God, His voice rising to a shout. "Do you hear Me? I don't want you to kill anybody. I'm against it, across the board. How many times do I have to say it? Don't kill each other anymore—ever! I'm diddlying serious!"
Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept.

hehehe funny toejam.