"...when you ram something the only one hurt is you."
That's a total bunch of BS. I am in B24's, homeboy lgay or spittard comes screaming in and just rams straight through me, I go down in flames and he flies away. I'm flying straight and level on autopilot so I can man the guns. I don't think "I" rammed "him".
This happens frequently for me. I have survived a grand total of 3-4 collisions since I've been playing AH, period, and interestingly they have all been when "I" rammed into them.
Anyway....
Vulching - knock yourself out. Nothing wrong with it. If you are trying to take a field, why would you want to LET the enemy up? The alternative is to knock out the hangars and that just garners a whole other set of whines from the fighter jocks that just want to rack up kills. Otherwise, you'd never be able to take a base.
HOing - I try to avoid it, and usually do not make the first attempt/shot at it, but if some dweeb tries to HO me, I'll HO back, especially if I'm in a cannon plane and he isn't. Just last night had a pony driver came in on my 190D9 and went straight for the HO. I avoided and started to fight, he turns and comes right back in for another HO, so I turned him into an ack puff with the cannons. He didn't hit me with a single round :-)
Shooting chutes - knock yourself out. I don't go chasing them down, but if presented, I'll blast them out of the sky. Besides, I'm doing them a favor and saving them that long ride down.

Any notion of "honor" and all that silliness is just that.

It's a game, not as if you are really getting killed.
Exploiting known bugs - that one is cheap. Only no skill losers need to do that.
And the bottom line: It's your $15 every month, play how you want to.