More Joke(s).....

[mason22]

"Ah, the French ..."    


Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.  It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!"


Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on Marie's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.


"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!" She smiles, and they start kissing.


When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower." Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.  "Pierre! What are you doing?" asks the bewildered Marie.


"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!"


They resume their passionate interlude, and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, Pierre, kiss me lower!"  Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.  Marie shrieks and dives into the river.  Standing waist deep in the water, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Our hero stands up defiantly and says, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot! If go down, I go down in flames!"

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"shut up and FLY!" - mason22
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FAT DRUNK BASTARDS

[skernsk]

Vintage Mason!!  


.................
Skernsk
   

[This message has been edited by skernsk (edited 03-28-2000).]

[daddog]

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, yellow. The old man just stared. The young man said "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son".

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daddog C.O.
332nd Flying Mongrels

[nonoht]

humm a joke on french pilots ???
why not ?
i prefer kill joker when they are laughing...easier to kill them...
hehe

   

GC III/2 "Alsace"

[This message has been edited by nonoht (edited 04-03-2000).]

[Heater]

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter
greets Ford. and tells him, "Well, you've been such a good guy, and your invention...the assembly line for the automobile...changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want."
Ford thinks about it, and says, - "I want to hang out with
God Himself."
So, the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room,
and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, "When you invented Woman, what were You thinking?"
God asks, "What do you mean?"
"Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting, and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.
Just to name a few."
"Hmmm...," replies God, "Hold on a minute." God goes over to
the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results.
In no time the computer prints out a report, and God reads it.
God then turns to Ford, and says, "It may be that my invention is flawed,
but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours."


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!!! Heater !!!
 
Shit Happens All The Time

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done."

[This message has been edited by Heater (edited 04-03-2000).]

[Ripsnort]

PICK UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. You are so fine that I'd eat your toejam just to see where it came from.

7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f_ck.

9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,
could I meet you between the holidays?

11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount
you or eat you!

12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

13. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open,
and I'll give you the meat.

16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and I surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those
pants"

17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

18. F_ck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

20. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light switch away.

21. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous
curves ahead, yield?

22. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
into this motel room.

23. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you
blow the hell out of me.

24. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

25. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

26. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking
to you.

27. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be
coming too.

28. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat
me to it.

29. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.


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Ripsnort(-rip1-)
=CO=II/JG2~Richthofen~
Communications Officer
Aces High Training Corps
JG2 "Richthofen"
 
"Experience is a hard teacher because she
gives the test first, the lesson afterwards"

[This message has been edited by Ripsnort (edited 04-03-2000).]

[weazel]

The newly-hatched snake and the newly-born rabbit came face to face. Both were so young their eyes had not yet opened. Neither knew what the other was, so they decided to feel each other and make a guess.
First the snake slithered over the rabbit and then concluded: "You have warm fur, whiskers and long ears. You must be a bunny."
Then the rabbit ran its paws over the snake. "You are slippery and have no balls. You must be a politician."

[weazel]

A little boy and a little girl were sitting on the porch talking, when the little girl asked, "Do you wanna get undressed? We can play Doctor."
The little boy replied, "That's too old fashioned. Spit out your gum...I wanna play President!"