Following some of our recent discussions, I thought users here might be interested in reviewing this handy list of tools commonly used in aircraft maintenance and construction. It was sent to me by a member of my EAA chapter for our newsletter, but I thought y'all might enjoy it too:
Aircraft Shop Tool Definitions
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out or your hand so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted airplane part you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes to say, “Ouch…”
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads and to raise a blood blister on your finger in a flash.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the “Ouija Board” principle. In transforms normal linear motion into crooked, unpredictable motion and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can be also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of you hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside of the wheel hub you want to the bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now mainly used for impersonating that 9/16 or ½ inch socket you’ve spent the last 15 minutes searching for.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering the landing gear leg to the ground after you have installed the new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the wheel pant bracket.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering the landing gear leg upward off the hydraulic jack handle.
TWEEZERS: Tool for removing Douglas fir splinters.
CELL PHONE: Tool for calling friend to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any know drill bit that snaps off in pilot holes drilled just a little too shallow rendering the entire engine case useless.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect at the firewall.
CRAFTSMAN ½ X 16 INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See definition for hacksaw.
TROUBLE LIGHT: This is the aircraft mechanic’s own tanning booth. Sometimes called a droplight, it is a good source of vitamin D, “the sunshine vitamin”, which is not otherwise found in the back of fuselages in hangars. Heath benefit aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the rate that 105mm howitzer shells were consumed during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, it’s name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style oilcans and splash oil on your shirt: but as the name implies can also be used to strip out the slots in Phillips screw heads.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced at the hydroelectric dams on the Columbia River 200 miles away and transforms that into compressed air that travels by hose to a Harbor Freight brand impact wrench that grips corroded bolts last over tighten by a Cessna worker 50 years ago and neatly rounds off their heads.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the $600 piece of metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace the only 50 cent part on the airplane.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from the object you were trying to hit.
MECHANIC’S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door: works particularly well on contents such as upholstery, DVDs from the FAA, liquids in plastic bottles, repair manuals, refunds checks, and all rubber and plastic parts.
DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the hangar while yelling “DAMMIT” at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.
