Thanks Bodhi and Shamus - found the NC BAR association and got a referal name on Elder Law. It's incredible how small differences in phrasing between the countries buggers up searching.
Thanks Dux - eventually found the NC State laws which appear
WAY[/i] less generous than MA
Anyway I'm now better educated and have some base info to move on with - thanks everyone.
and didn't sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night

No it was a Radisson actually ...........