Author Topic: Defense Mechanisms  (Read 1175 times)

Offline Maverick

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« Reply #30 on: May 16, 2007, 06:02:35 PM »
Guns,
There is an old saying that any lawyer who handles their own legal work has a fool for a client. You are starting to prove that saying if you do not get legal advice.

For crying out loud you have legal help available thropugh the Air Force. USE IT before you end up losing your kids. It isn't just the money and property here at risk, it's your kids as well. You need a professionally done and independant legal document for custody, child support and parental rights. You do know that she can get your check garnished for child support. If you are not active in setting it up they will rape you over this. It can be done AFTER the fact here. All she has to do is get a hearing after you get seperated and divorced. If she alleges that you didn't set up child support properly it will be assessed against you late on.

Like others said, you cannot afford to not use a lawyer.

Can you afford to lose your career, your pension, your kids? Divorce is bad, it hurts like hell and it screws up your mind. Get help!!! You need to be protecting your assets, your kids and your future.
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storch

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« Reply #31 on: May 16, 2007, 07:22:32 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by RedTop
Walk over to her...lightly touch her shoulder....lean in...and whisper in her ear..............Go to he11 you 2 timing sorry POS........I'll see you in court.

Made me feel ALOT better.
:rofl

Offline lasersailor184

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« Reply #32 on: May 16, 2007, 08:43:32 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Gunslinger
I beleive her when she says she didn't sleep with the guy.  I laid the guilt trip on thick when I explained that she violated her wedding vows by at least opening her heart up to him.  Even one of her best friends told me today that you don't "move on" before you end it.


Another mistake among many.  Don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth from this point on.


I know you feel like you just want to move on now, but when you're still getting butt****ed 10 years down the road, you'll regret it.

My dad had some trump cards on my mom, but thought he still loved her and decided not to play them.  Now the poker game's over, she has everything, and he's still paying even though he hardly makes 2/3 what she does.  He regrets it.  Mainly because he lost his family's house in the process.
Punishr - N.D.M. Back in the air.
8.) Lasersailor 73 "Will lead the impending revolution from his keyboard"

Offline Vudak

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« Reply #33 on: May 16, 2007, 08:57:55 PM »
Guns, first of all I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles.  Life will get better.

(Others have said everything I could better, thus the brevity :( )

Second of all, if you can't see a lawyer on base at least give me a PM and I'll give you the number of the firm I work at...  I'll arrange for an attorney to give you some pointers for free.  The law in TX is likely different than in CT, but I'm sure they can give you good advice to start with until you can get back on base or find a local attorney.

Either take me up on my offer or find another attorney to speak with, but do it quickly.  I don't mean to bum you out, but we have a little saying, "Divorce is easy unless there are kids, in which case it is WW3."

Also, though the phone conversation will certainly be free (hell, I can even call you and say you called us, to save you long distance), you seriously have to find representation.  You have no idea how much you will lose if you don't.

Good luck, sir.
Vudak
352nd Fighter Group

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #34 on: May 16, 2007, 10:17:18 PM »
I have an appointment at base legal tommorrow to help me fill out a MARITAL SEPARATION AGREEMENT.  I also have a counseling appointment.  I have definatly moved into the Anger portion of this process.  I'm down right pissed off.

I was actually contemplating opening up a home equity line of credit on the home that I will no longer be living in to help pay for the lawyer.  Wouldn't that be funny.  

either way I want to leave her well enough that she can care for the kids but not leave her with enough wiggle room to screw me over for the next 13 years.

My brother seems to think I should get out of the military after this tour.  He made sense that a retirment isn't worth it when she can go after 25% of it.  After taxes and what not that paycheck just doesn't seem that much worth it after 20 years of service.  Not to mention it will be hard to be a father to my son.  I'm allready screwed if we go to court as I work 18 hour days for 7 weeks strait.

I'm definatly angry.  On a positive we don't have much to split but she WILL not be living in this house with my name on the mortgage.

Offline majic

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« Reply #35 on: May 16, 2007, 10:33:42 PM »
Good luck man.

Offline Jackal1

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« Reply #36 on: May 16, 2007, 10:34:43 PM »
Until she vacates the premises, see if you can find a copy of the old song Thank God And Greyhound She`s Gone. Play repeatedly at high volume.
Democracy is two wolves deciding on what to eat. Freedom is a well armed sheep protesting the vote.
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Offline Hornet33

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« Reply #37 on: May 17, 2007, 01:22:28 AM »
Guns, how long have you been married and on active duty? If it's less than ten years for either answer by federal law she can't go after any of your pension.

I've been going through all this myself concerning my medical retirement. My ex is trying to go after it saying we were married for 12 years while I was on active duty and she's entitled to it. My saving grace is my retirement is actually 100% disabiltity pay and she can't touch it. It doesn't even factor into my annual income for child support payments. Needless to say she is pissed but she asked me to leave so screw her.
AHII Con 2006, HiTech, "This game is all about pissing off the other guy!!"

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #38 on: May 17, 2007, 01:38:23 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Hornet33
Guns, how long have you been married and on active duty? If it's less than ten years for either answer by federal law she can't go after any of your pension.

I've been going through all this myself concerning my medical retirement. My ex is trying to go after it saying we were married for 12 years while I was on active duty and she's entitled to it. My saving grace is my retirement is actually 100% disabiltity pay and she can't touch it. It doesn't even factor into my annual income for child support payments. Needless to say she is pissed but she asked me to leave so screw her.


I was allways told it does not matter how long, she get's a percentage either way.

We've been married 5 1/2 years.  only about 15 months of those were not spent on active duty.

Offline AWMac

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« Reply #39 on: May 17, 2007, 04:31:48 AM »
Guns,

Is yer Brother a Lawyer? Afraid not. If you screw yerself out of a Military Retirement benifit then that's just it... You've screwed yerself.

Seek REAL legal advice from JAG and steer away from the chithouse lawyers.  In the process change yer Benificiaries so she recieves nothing from yer SGLI. Submit paperwork to have her ID Card revoked and a loss of Base privies.  Play it smart, Play it safe.

Good Luck Bro,

Mac

Offline wes34th

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gunslinger
« Reply #40 on: May 17, 2007, 11:10:28 AM »
Gunslinger,

Remember, this will bring you closer to our god.God bless and keep you and I will pray for you and your family.

Respectfully,

wes34th (Bill)

Offline SIK1

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« Reply #41 on: May 17, 2007, 12:46:57 PM »
Like just about everyone else has said get a lawyer!

She has already shown that she can be underhanded. You don't want to find out just how much so in six months.
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Offline Sting138

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« Reply #42 on: May 17, 2007, 01:14:16 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by lasersailor184
If I can offer any advice from my father's marriage/divorce, it would be this:  No matter what happens, don't move out until you are divorced.  The act of "Moving Out" even in a trial separation is a major  holding piece on which you will get screwed out of everything for "Abandoning the Family."


First of all..... I am very sorry to hear that this is happening to you!


I coudlnt agree with Laser more, been there and seen it. And the bottle isnt the answer!
I dont know what the answer is but its going to be different for everyone. I know when I was dealing with a similar situation I played as much AH as possible and visited a lot of strip clubs which seemed to take my mind off of things! So go ahead and pour yourself in to AH for while and visit a few T-Bars and all will be well before you know it.

Offline Gunslinger

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« Reply #43 on: May 17, 2007, 02:25:13 PM »
I have to stop talking about it now as this isn't real secure.

All I'm gonna say is thanks for the sincere advice.  Message recieved Lima Charlie 5 X 5

Offline Sting138

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« Reply #44 on: May 17, 2007, 03:20:08 PM »
Come up to Austin and we'll hit some Strip clubs! First round is on me!