Bbq Rules

[Odee]

From an artist friend of mine...  Enjoy, and for pitty sake, do not let your spouse see this!

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put
into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL!!

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,  sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing  her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

*Odee is soooo going to be a target this coming summer, for posting this*

[storch]

women are difficult to understand.

[Maniac]

[Curval]

Hey...he flips the meat, pours beer on it, determines if it is adequately cooked for each diner and ensures it is not burned...and all this while drinking a beer, checking on the game score every so often, playing some catch with the kids and discussing various house projects that need to be done (but never will) with guests (male).

[Jackal1]

Females are not allowed in any part, portion or partaking in the process thereof in the fine art of BBQ around these parts.
Isn`t anything sacred anymore?

[culero]

You guys just don't have well-trained wimmens. My typically Texan wife:

1) Cuts her own bait
2) Is an enthusiastically good shot with both 12 gauge and pistol
3) Likes mowing the yard (no we don't have "lawns" in Texas)
4) Likes flying cartoon airplanes
5) Watches all Dallas Cowboys games as assiduously as I do
6) Hates libruls and feminazis

and, ever since I built her a proper BBQ pit, all I have to do when I want mesquite-smoked meat is say so

culero

PS - she even came complete with her family-owned fishing camp

[Maniac]

Originally posted by culero
You guys just don't have well-trained wimmens. My typically Texan wife:

1) Cuts her own bait
2) Is an enthusiastically good shot with both 12 gauge and pistol
3) Likes mowing the yard (no we don't have "lawns" in Texas)
4) Likes flying cartoon airplanes
5) Watches all Dallas Cowboys games as assiduously as I do
6) Hates libruls and feminazis

and, ever since I built her a proper BBQ pit, all I have to do when I want mesquite-smoked meat is say so

culero

PS - she even came complete with her family-owned fishing camp

You sure you didnt marry an Shemale?

[Odee]

Originally posted by Maniac
You sure you didnt marry an Shemale?

Yeah... we know who wears the pants in the family...

[detch01]

Originally posted by Odee
Yeah... we know who wears the pants in the family...

Someone has to. Anyone here who's flown an event with Culero knows he flies BUCK NEKKID. It is a shock for the noobies but it does go a long way in preparing them to deal with the horrors of war.





asw