A woman went out for a night with "the girls," telling her husband she'd be home by midnight. As the hours passed, the margaritas tasted better and better until she didn't get home until 3 AM. As she opened the door, their cuckoo clock started up and cuckooed three times. Realizing her husband could have heard the door open, she quickly cuckooed another nine times to convince him it was midnight. The next morning, hubby asked her what time she got home. "Oh, around midnight, I think." He replied, "Then I think we need a new cuckoo clock." "Why?" she asked. "Because last night I heard the clock cuckoo three times, then say, 'Oh, ****!' cuckoo four more times, clear its throat, cuckoo three more times, giggle, cuckoo twice more, trip over the coffee table, and fart!"
