At dawn the telephone rings.
"Hello, Senor Garvin? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country
house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Garvin, that your parrot
died.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! I spent a small fortune on that bird." "What did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor Garvin"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The racing horse, Senor Garvin."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Si Senor Garvin, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
fire."
"What the hell??....Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because
of a candle??!!!
"Si Senor Garvin."
"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Garvin."
" WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL"?
"Your wife's, Senor Garvin...She showed up one night out of the blue and
I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike
Driver."
SILENCE...................
LONGER SILENCE...................... .........
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep S**T!"
