Author Topic: Academia Nuts....or "Say Whut!?" (Read 471 times)

Shuckins · « **on:** November 09, 2007, 05:19:19 PM »

Maw youngest son is working on obtaining his B.A. in history this fall, and is taking a course in modern Middle Eastern history toward that end.

His class had to write a short research and analysis paper on post-WWII events in that region, and give a ten minute oral summary of their topics. After finishing his summary, said son listened to the summary of a fellow student who was of the athletic persuasion. That summary dealt with the wars that took place between 1948 and 1967, and contained the following opening statement:

"Well....first...the Ayerabs did some stuff....uh...then...."

It went downhill from there. The presenter DID mention the struggles for the Guhzaah Strip, and the Go-Lane Heights, which were on the border with Luhbannen.

The professor told the hapless student that he would have to remain standing until he actually remembered something from the paper.

As it turned out, the lunkhead had bought the paper for 100 dollars from another student, but hadn't taken the time to read it before turning it in at class.

Any of you guys ever witnessed anything that stupid and hilarious in your days of academic pursuits?

Tac · « **Reply #1 on:** November 09, 2007, 05:33:42 PM »

I remember in my required public speech course we were told to prepare a 20 minute presentation on something that we were had a strong personal interest in which led to our decision to persue our degrees in college.

One girl was going for medicine and her specialty was to be genetic disorders and such.

So she begins her speech a bit bumbly (you know, nerves and all) and goes into a bit of detail with some examples of the disorders she was most interested in.

One of those was hermaphroditism.

Now, imagine a REALLY pretty girl which 2 guys had already asked out for a date IN class hearing her bumbling through this and in one part.. I really dont remember the exact words she said... she said that SHE was a hermaphrodite.

after the speech ended, the class sat in stunned silence and she sat down as if nothing had happened.

the teacher went up to the podium and thanked her and reminded the class that while informative and all, some personal details like her being a hermaphrodite were not required to be shared with the class if one did not want to.

the girl stood up all shocked and said 'I didnt say I was a hermaphrodite, just that I was interested in the disorder!'

class just looked at her with the look ' yes you did'.

poor girl.

(and no, she wasnt a hermaphrodite, she was so nervous during the speech it came out wrong and she didnt notice heheheh).

Stang · « **Reply #2 on:** November 09, 2007, 05:49:48 PM »

Shaky · « **Reply #3 on:** November 09, 2007, 06:08:15 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Tac
(and no, she wasnt a hermaphrodite, she was so nervous during the speech it came out wrong and she didnt notice heheheh).

And you are sure of this how?

Shuckins · « **Reply #4 on:** November 09, 2007, 06:32:48 PM »

It was an elementary deduction, derived from the clues at hand.

thrila · « **Reply #5 on:** November 09, 2007, 06:57:32 PM »

This is several years ago now, but in secondary school during history lessons we had to read excerpts from our text books. Whilst studying the rise of the nazi party a friend of mine read about 3 pages and each time he read "nazi party", he pronounced it "nancy party". The teacher himself was giggling everytime my friend said it and only corrected him after he finished.

Flint · « **Reply #6 on:** November 09, 2007, 06:59:04 PM »

The story I have to tell is not my own - but one I witnessed.

The reasons behind it are complex and involved a woman, but at my tender 14yrs old ... we had no idea.

Our Chemistry teacher, who insisted upon being called Chris (one of the new wave) took us out to the quad during an introduction to the periodic table.

... note, quad is a small area surrounded on allsides by structural walls - kinda like an inside garden without a roof.

Anywhoo, we've been working through the first periodic group - you know, Lithium, Sodium, Potassium ... come Caesium Chris says, "Follow me class".

So out to the quad and this young bloke chucked a kilo (entire stock) of ceasium into the fountain!

First time I ever saw a shockwave - happened so fast but got imprinted - all the windows blown out surrounding - lots ... lots of white eyed chaps looking this way...

we still drink to Chris

AKIron · « **Reply #7 on:** November 09, 2007, 09:24:16 PM »

I like Macadamia nuts.

Maverick · « **Reply #8 on:** November 09, 2007, 10:56:42 PM »

When I was doing class work for my Masters in Education we had a class dealing with presentations. It was the typical 2 to 5 minute presentation format. These were all experienced practicing teachers, just out of practice in giving a peer level presentation. I called it the night of the living "uumms".

A couple of us started to take a count of the number of uumms. One of the younger teachers got up to 48 in a 2 minute presentation.

Masherbrum · « **Reply #9 on:** November 10, 2007, 12:13:53 AM »

When I took Public Speaking in College I was pissed off at our instructor. She had her favorite student who gave the crappiest speeches.

She "expected us to write out an outline or complete speech beforehand".

I always went off of the cuff and was the only student who didn't write their final speech of 10 minutes. I made it 9:38 seconds (my buddy timed it for me) without losing eye contact on an outline I had.

My wife hates my speaking in public, I'm far from shy and enjoy it.

LePaul · « **Reply #10 on:** November 10, 2007, 12:39:21 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Maverick
When I was doing class work for my Masters in Education we had a class dealing with presentations. It was the typical 2 to 5 minute presentation format. These were all experienced practicing teachers, just out of practice in giving a peer level presentation. I called it the night of the living "uumms".

A couple of us started to take a count of the number of uumms. One of the younger teachers got up to 48 in a 2 minute presentation.

Back when I took speech in college, the teacher would tape our first presentation then have us watch it privately after class. We were all floored how many times we uttered "Ummm" in the span of that presentation. We all, ahh, umm, sounded like, umm, ahh, Senator Ted Kennedy.

However, I think we were all forever grateful to have a teacher that did that for us. By our second and third presentations, we were much improved.

Maverick · « **Reply #11 on:** November 10, 2007, 09:49:41 AM »

I got a lesson similar to that one. We had to dictate some reports for the department. When you were doing it you had no idea of what was actually coming out of your mouth at times. Having to listen to one of your own tapes give you an appreciation for what the stenographers had to deal with.

I was embarrassed by my report and started to work on my speaking habits big time. It paid off big time during briefings to senior officers later on in the Military.

lasersailor184 · « **Reply #12 on:** November 10, 2007, 10:24:50 AM »

I pissed off my Speech Professor. I flat out said that Democrats were racist. And then I refused to argue the point with him.

He was angry.

Tiger · « **Reply #13 on:** November 13, 2007, 10:54:51 AM »

The history professor was a down to earth kinda guy as far as university perfessors go.

My buddy was doing his presentation on the dicovery and exploration of the America's. He goes in and says something to the extent of Columbus sailed in 1942. Everyone int he class caught it, including the professor. At the end he asked my Buddy how Columbus dodged all the German U-Boats and we all had a good laugh.

As far as the night of the 'Umms'... that was (and probably still is) my biggest pet peeve. I don't mind 1 or 2 if you lose your train of thought and are trying to get caught up, or someone pops in with a question. But if you are doing an uninterupted presentation with notes sitting in front of you, give me a GD break. Two examples..
1) I was AFROTC is college, never ended up activie duty but that's a Loooong story. Anyway, I had one of the cadets give me a community activities briefing and I keep count of her Umm and Uhhs and Likes and Ands and all those other fillers. In under 10 minutes she had over 90. I gave her some nice advice, recommended some of those nice techniques, and told her I would brief the Colonel cause he would go ape ***** if she did.

2) One of those lovely quarterly business meetings that everyone loves. We had 5 presentations from different departments. I decided to keep track once again. The first guy puts up a 15 spot in his 15 mins, pretty good considering the interuptions with questions. The second girl saw me tallying and asked me what I was doing. I told her. She gave hers and saw that she hung a 50 spot on the sheet. She felt bad, I told her not to worry. The next guy got up, less than 5 mins in he had her number smashed and she didn't feel so bad.

Charon · « **Reply #14 on:** November 13, 2007, 11:49:56 AM »

One of the few "hard" skills I got from the military was public speaking. I was a military instructor in the Army Reserves teaching 19D skills. We were taught how to speak in front of an audience and then I spent 7 years basically doing just that. It came somewhat natural for me and some others, but most of the instructors and drill sergeants in my unit eventually became comfortable at it regardless. One NCO just never, and I mean never, could get it down. Not once did he do it successfully to "task condition and standards" in practice and he never instructed in a classroom environment. I can remember one nerve driven, I've lost my place meander into comparing a compass to a woman, treating her right, etc. Funny at the time and funny thinking back

When I returned to school to finish my degree (after having too much fun the first time) I found the speech class to be fairly easy

To this day I can easily speak in front of an audience and regularly do, either making a presentation, moderating a panel discussion or taking part in one. No jitters, no lost sleep and perhaps 10 minutes of prep time for a panel discussion and a few hours for something more formal. When I was doing the PR thing I wrote speeches for about 5 years.

The best advice I can give, especially if there is a Q&A session, is to KNOW your material. Know it backwards and forwards, inside and out. Then, at worst you need a light outline to keep you on track and at best you realize you never used the outline. It eliminates the "need to read" and potential nerves (though for some it is a phobia). And, as noted, consciously work on the "umms." This is a fairly easy one to solve.