Author Topic: Santa's Check-ride  (Read 435 times)

Offline RTR

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Santa's Check-ride
« on: December 24, 2007, 11:07:47 AM »
Santa Claus, like all pilots, needs to have a check ride every year.
It was shortly before Christmas when the FAA Flight examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe the reindeer.
Santa got his log book out and made sure everything was up-to-date.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled.
He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing legs, and Rudolph’s nose.
He painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight and balance calculations for the sled’s enormous payload.

Finally they were ready for the check ride.
Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass.
Then the examiner got in carrying, to Santa’s surprise, a shotgun.
“What’s that for?” asked Santa.
The examiner winked and said, “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but your gonna lose an engine on takeoff”.

Merry Christmass all:D

RTR
The Damned

Offline Meatwad

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Santa's Check-ride
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2007, 11:14:29 AM »
:D
See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline Fishu

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Santa's Check-ride
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2007, 12:37:44 PM »
A bit different version:

Santa was getting ready for his yearly trip. His sleigh was loaded, the reindeer were fed and hooked up, he'd had dinner and Mrs. Claus had made certain that he had a good night before, or words to that affect.

As he walked up to his sleigh a man was standing next to it with a shot gun. Santa, a little disturbed, asked who he was and why was he here.

The man introduced himself. "I'm from the FAA Denver FSDO and I'm here to do a route check Santa because last year we had a couple of violations filed on you by ATC and the Secret Service. It seems you didn't file IFR and you violated just about every airspace in the U.S. Then the Secret Service didn't see you land land at the White House, and that roll on takeoff at the White House was the last straw. The Secret Service thought the Cigar on the Presidents desk was a little tacky, and then when they shot off every SAM in the the DC area and missed you they really got upset. So I'm going to ride With you this year. I need to see your license and medical."

Well, Santa pulled out his license that was signed off by Wilber Wright and
his Medical that was signed off by Louis Pasture, and then asked, "I can
understand the route check, I did get a little low last year a few times."
as they crawled into the sleigh, "but what's the shot gun for?"

The FAA inspector said "Well Santa, its' like this, you're going to lose one
on take off"

Offline RTHolmes

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Santa's Check-ride
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2007, 01:25:52 PM »
:rofl
71 (Eagle) Squadron

What most of us want to do is simply shoot stuff and look good doing it - Chilli

Offline Hawk78th

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Santa's Check-ride
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2007, 04:10:36 PM »
:aok :aok :aok
JHawk  (in Game)

Offline Pooh21

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Santa's Check-ride
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2007, 05:18:16 AM »
tequila in the sinus passages burns you bastage!:rofl :rofl :rofl

Merry Christmas!
Bis endlich der Fiend am Boden liegt.
Bis Bishland bis Bishland bis Bishland wird besiegt!

Offline Angus

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Santa's Check-ride
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2007, 02:32:31 PM »
My Santa jokes are too dirty to post, sorry :t
It was very interesting to carry out the flight trials at Rechlin with the Spitfire and the Hurricane. Both types are very simple to fly compared to our aircraft, and childishly easy to take-off and land. (Werner Mölders)