"okay"

[rpm]

Wow,88. This is a hard core thing to do. I respect you for following your friend's wishes. I watched my first stepmother go thru 12 years of chemo with breast cancer in the late 60's - early 70's.

Even today I can walk blindfolded thru St.Joseph's Hospital in Ft.Worth  altho it has been gone for 30 years. I know every step of every stairwell. 8th floor was Oncology, 4th floor was Medicine, Surgery on 5.

I've got to tell you it was pretty barbaric reatment back then. Watch an old episode of "Medical Center" or "Dr. Kildare" and you'll get the idea. Looks like voodoo compared to modern medicine.

Neva Nell went thru every available chemo there was on the market. After you finished one course of a drug, if it did'nt work you had to find a new one.  It was'nt a smorgasbord of choices back then either. Soon, she finished every available drug. Time to try trips to Mexico for Laetrile. Time to enter clinical drug trials, a/k/a Guinea Pig.

Neva Nell eventually lost her battle with cancer, but hopefully she helped to save the lives of others and eventually win the war. But she paid a very high price for those last precious few years.

You do not have an easy road ahead of you. Take console in the fact that you are following the wishes of your friend and treatments are lightyears ahead of where they used to be. Maybe this set of photographs will help others to face things in the future.

<> My friend.

[Rolex]

I know you didn't intend to offend anyone, SK67. I deleted it because it's my cross to bear, not share.

[JB88]

wow everyone...thanks for the thoughtful responses and support.

i'm still a bit light headed about this thing.  it's just not something that i have had to deal with on this level before.  it's nice to know that my family here is around to talk with about it.

all that i know at this stage is that it is not something that i can take lightly, but nor is it somethiing that i can allow to consume me either.  it's a long walk for sure.  

thanks again all.  

[Goth]

Actually, I think you should take the opposite approach of what most have suggested. Instead of detaching yourself, you should be a friend and document his journey for him with pride. I'm not saying it won't be hard for the both of you, but for better or worse, this is life and you can provide a perspective of his life for all to see. He's honored you with sharing, just accept that honor, be a friend, and do your best.

[JB88]

i agree goth...it's just that i am not going to be doing anyone a service if i allow my emotions to get the best of me on this one.  that is not to say that i won't be a friend...i am that first.  yes, it is an honor, this is true, but i cannot fulfill his request if i cannot do what he asks.  i know that i am not going to want to...yet he has asked me to do it.  i guess my point is that it won't do me a lick of good if i am being so emotional that i can't point the camera and shoot it.  but that's not really what i'd like to be doing.  i'd rather not have to.  but that's not my choice.  it is his, and i will honor it to the best of my abilities.

[DiabloTX]

It sorta reminds me of a documentary I watched late one night on PBS about 15 years ago.  It was called Silverlake Life or something to that effect.  Was two gay guys who were dying from AIDS and they decided to document their final years together.  Was both fascinating and hard to watch but I didn't turn the TV off.  In the end I was amazed at their conviction in meeting death.  I hope to be able to be that strong when my day comes.

[Maverick]

JB88,

First off you should feel honored that you were invited to what may be the last of your friend's life. His wanting to share that with you is a great testament to your friendship.

I would advise not concentrating on the travails of the disease to the exclusion of his willingness to continue to live his life. The pix will already document the effects without having to concentrate on them. Document his interactions, his living, not the dieing. I don't think I'm expressing it very well I'm afraid. Try to leave something of the man he is for those he leaves behind, not just the effects of the cancer on him. Take happy shots more than the "down" shots if at all possible. I'm not saying ignore the bad days, just concentrate on the good ones more. Follow the love of family and friends as much as you can.

Also don't forget yourself here. You will need time to vent, release and regain your own composure. Don't be an outsider, he is including you to one of the most deeply important and individual portions of his life. You will need to be able to maintain your own life while doing this. Don't hesitate to both laugh and cry with him and his family.

Good luck and God bless.

[Skuzzy]

Don't focus on the disease.  Focus on the life.

[Wayout]

Originally posted by JB88
well.  a good friend of my has been diagnosed with lung cancer.  

pretty aggressive.  long shot.

he has asked me to document it photographically from start to finish.  

 The first question you need to answer is why does he want this documented.  What is it he wants to say.  Who is going to see these photos.  Skuzzy is right when he says focus on life not the disease but your problem is going to be that from now on the cancer is his life.  

 I pray he survives this and in 5 years you both can look at the pictures and better understand what he went through.

[ChickenHawk]

A heavy responsibility.  You are a true friend for accepting this difficult assignment.

I agree that as a friend you should shoot him living life and enjoying time with friends, and of course situational portraits would not be amiss.  But it sounds to me like your friend wants you to document the treatment and the disease and as a photographer on assignment; I would consider a sitting portrait with a clean background taken at timed intervals over the course of this ordeal.  Of course this will not be easy and the results will most likely be shocking.

This probably goes without saying but don't forget to put the camera on a tripod and take pictures of yourself with your friend.  You will treasure them later.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you and your friend the best of luck.

[eagl]

Good Luck JB88.  I hope you find the strength to take on this task for you friend.  Almost everyone wants to leave some sort of legacy behind when they leave, and it sounds like your friend has chosen you to help create something that will be here after he is gone.

I suspect that this project will go a long way to help him deal with all the "could have been" dreams he will probably never be able to achieve.  That's about the best thing someone can ever do for a dying friend.